::Slide - Presentation Title - alrt! An innovative program to teach kids online safety. Ronni Roney, Education Director, Abbott House Child Advocacy Center. [Carlie Van Woerkom] I wanna welcome everyone today to our lunch and learn. This Lunch and Learn is being brought to you by a collaboration between Oklahoma Human Services, University of Oklahoma, and Anne & Henry Zarrow School of Social Work and the Center for Adoption and Family Wellbeing. We appreciate everyone joining during your lunch noon hour. We want to get started so we can make sure to respect everyone's time and great information being discussed today. First, let's go over a few housekeeping things for our time together this afternoon. We are recording this meeting, so by participating you are giving your consent to be recorded. Please help us reduce distractions so we can all focus and participate. We have muted everyone to make it possible for everyone to hear the speakers. We want you to express your thoughts and questions. Please utilize the chat for this purpose. We will monitor the chat and questions will be touched upon during our Q&A a time during the last 15 minutes of the webinar. We want to see you. So if you are willing and you can please turn on your video if you are unable to, that's also fine. To receive information about other post-adoption events, please list your name and email in the chat and we will make sure to add you to our contact list. Also, remember, confidentiality. It is vital that we protect confidential information, so we will not be sharing any specifics about foster or adoptive cases. All material from this presentation will be available to you. After the presentation, you will receive an email including a link to the resource database. Now I'm gonna hand everything off to Ronni, who is today's host. ::Attendees visible:: [Ronni Roney] Awesome. Well, welcome everyone. I'm super excited to be here and be a part of this group. Can everybody hear me okay so far? Okay. You know, technology kind of always scares me when I do these things. Um, I, yes, like she said, I am from Abbott House and um, I'm the education director here. So if you don't know about Abbott House, just real quick, we are a child advocacy center here in Norman. And, um, basically it's like a safe place for kids to come and talk. So, um, when there's allegations of abuse or neglect, then DHS or law enforcement or both ask us to do a forensic interview. And, um, so we have forensic interviewers that talk with kids, and then we have advocates that hang out with the families and kind of help, um, give families resources, counseling, you know, help paying bills, anything that they may need, um, to kind of break down some barriers that they may have. And then we have medical on site. So we have, um, nurses, same nurses, medical, um, like nurse practitioners who, um, can see all the kids and, um, sorry, I just got distracted. I have a ADHD and a little thing popped up. Um, so they can see all the kids here and help make sure that they're clean, safe, and healthy. And then my job as education director is to go throughout the community and talk about a few different things. One of them is recognizing, responding and reporting child abuse. Um, another one is, um, kind of a grooming type of educational program. It's called Keeping them Safe. It's teaching parents and guardians about like these eight potentially risky behaviors that, um, some adults maybe in our lives are kind of exhibiting. And those are things we need to look out for because 90% of, um, child sexual abuse predators are known family and friends. And so this program was really developed to help parents see that because, you know, it's in that circle and a lot of times we don't see those things happening in front of our eyes. Um, so that's a really cool one. And then the most recent one is this alrt, which is what I'm talking with you guys about today. Avoid, learn, react, tell. Um, I go into schools and I talk to, um, third through 12th grade with different curriculums based on their age about keeping themselves safe online and how to kind of have their own filter, um, when it comes to anything that happens online. But, um, this is kind of my parent adult version of it. So I'm bringing you guys kind of some tips and tricks on what's going on out there in the online world. Some of this you guys may already know. Um, I find myself, uh, there's always somebody that's like, what? I had no idea. But then there's quite a few people that were like, I knew it was bad, but the, I didn't know it was that bad. So I am coming from a perspective, I don't want you guys to think that I think that you're not intelligent and don't know these things. I'm just bringing you all the info and um, yeah, I'm excited to bring that to you guys and hopefully you guys will gain something from this. Um, there'll be a little bit of homework at the end 'cause we have a part two coming up. Um, and if you are able to hop on the part two, maybe you'll do the homework. It's really not that crazy, but it's just something like a little challenge I have for you guys. So then we can come back and discuss more on part two on how that, how these things worked out for you and, um, maybe have some more problem solving situations. So I am pretty sure I'm talking to Sierra, you know, tell me if I'm wrong, but talking to foster parents, but then also, um, you know, some professionals in our, in our midst. Is that correct? [Sierra McClendon] That is correct. We have, I believe some foster parents on the call. We have some adoptive parents. We also have some professionals and um, some child welfare staff as well. So you have a little bit of a mix of everybody here. [Ronni Roney] Cool. That's awesome. Well, I am excited. Um, so I will get started. Let's hope that I can, um, share my screen and then I can share audio too. 'cause that's always fun. Uh, it's this one. Okay, look right here. Share sound. Ronni, you've got it. ::Slide - blank/black screen:: I always forget to click that thing and then we get in a big issue. Okay. Um, Here we go. ::Slide - alrt!:: Can everybody see that screen alert real big? Okay, cool. Um, all right. ::Slide - Internet:: So, um, I am actually going to skip this if it lets me skip it. ::Slide - avoid, learn, react, tell:: Okay. I usually play like a little, um, trailer, but I think we all know kind of what I'm talking about. So I'm not gonna play our cool little trailer trailer even though we're extremely proud of it because, um, it's specifically for alrt. It sounds really great. Um, okay, so here's where I wanna start with all of us. Make sure we're all on the same page. So a lot of what I talk about today is all the dangers online. Obviously everything that happens online isn't necessarily dangerous, but there's quite a bit of things that are dangerous and a lot of people still think of like sex trafficking or trafficking to be, you know, like on the right where it's not like this you or it says not like this, where it's like, give a candy and pull 'em into the car. Yes, that's still happens, but what's on the left is what is we're seeing happening a whole lot more. And so kids are getting trafficked out of their own home under parents' eyes noses, and they, they don't see it and they don't know that it's happening. So it's starts as simple as like, you're beautiful. You could be a model, I'm a photographer, don't you trust me. And then there's ways that these online predators kind of, um, continue to try to connect with kids. So a lot of what I'm talking about today, um, a bunch ::Slide - Without training (shows briefly):: of oopsie, I was trying to move this and that thing happened. ::Slide - Topics of Discussion:: Um, a bunch of what I talk about is, um, online exploitation and sextortion. So online exploitation is when, you know, individuals communicate with someone they think is a kid or they know is a kid through the internet with the intent to commit a sexual offense or abduction, including the production and sharing of child sexual abuse material. So for a long time it's been called child pornography. The law still states child pornography, but the, um, professional world, um, is trying to change that to child sexual abuse material. 'cause that pornography word almost seems like there's some type of, um, consent there. And when it comes to kids, obviously there's not consent. And so, um, child sexual abuse material is just a little bit more, this is what it is. And then sextorsion is the threat to expose sexual images in order to make a person do something. Those threats come from both strangers, pe uh, kids meet online or maybe a romantic partner or like a, you know, a boyfriend girlfriend. Um, they attempt to harass them, embarrass them, and control their victims. So those are kind of a big topics of what I'll be talking about. And just so you guys know a little bit about why, um, I always say this to kids, why, how do I know what I know? And I'm not saying I'm like the biggest expert on this by any means, but we have partnered with OSBI, so Oklahoma State Bureau of Investigations and um, although they can't be like, you know, say "See alrt", but they have put us as like affiliates. Um, we're the first like affiliates that are prevention education. And so they have seen our alrt program, they agree with it, they love it. And um, I'm e even able to have like some analyst and, um, sometimes some, uh, special agents come out with me with OSBI that, uh, help with this curriculum. And so I work with the Internet Crimes Against Children Unit within the OSBI and um, they give me all of the knowledge. So they keep me pretty up to date on the new ways that, um, unfortunately predators are trying to connect with kids. ::Slide - Without training:: So, couple of statistics, I like to start with. One in six youth ages nine to 17 have shared a nude image. Um, so it's becoming more and more, uh, unfortunately kind of a normal thing for kids to do. 50% of kids who shared didn't care if they knew that recipient in real life. Um, so it really didn't matter to them who they were sharing it with. They just shared it. And then 41% of those youth who have shared also sent images to people they believed to be adults. So they knew they were adults and they still sent the image. Um, so there's a wide range of of this that's happening, whether it's kids that are being coerced, you know, into doing it, um, manipulated into doing it, or just kids who don't care and they just do it because they don't care. Um, so I'll kind of talk a little bit about all of that. ::Slide - 1 out of 5 Youth:: Um, as we get one out of five youth with access to a digital device will be sexually solicited online. And, um, these are all statistics that I get from like National Center for Missing Exploited Children or National, um, I have to remember, it's N-C-O-S-E, National Child Online Sexual Exploitation, um, or some, something like that. Uh, a bunch of these statistics come from that forum, and I'll give you guys like a list of resources at the end that you guys can go back and look at. There's so much stuff out there. ::Slide - How Does This Happen?:: Um, so how does this happen? Obviously I think our kids are on their screens a lot more, right? So the average is 10, 10 hours, and that can be, um, even including homework. So a lot of people are like, what, 10 hours? But it, a lot of kids have homework that's online, so that includes that. Another one is, um, porn is one of the most commonly searched words for kids under seven. And um, that can be surprising to a lot of people. But the way I look at it, um, is I don't necessarily think are kids under seven, like understand the word porn, but why it's one of the search terms is because what we do and we don't know something is we Google it, right? We type it in, what is this? And I think kids at a early age have learned that from us. Like my kid, he's eight and he, like, a lot of times if he doesn't know something, he's like, just Google it, mom, just Google it. And he asked me to Google everything. So I think this is, kids truly like heard a word at school, now they're popping it into Google. And can you imagine what pops up when they put that in there? So, um, just just know that this is a, a common thing that's happening and uh, we'll learn about different ways we can help our kids with these types of situations. ::Slide - Over the Past 15 Years:: All right, I think we understand that this is increasing, right? This whole online exploitation, cyber tips, um, reports have increased 15000% in just the, the past 15 years. And when it comes to, um, OSBI, I think they said Oklahoma, I, I can't remember the exact statistic, but there was like one year where, um, by like March or April, they had already surpassed their cyber tips that they had the year before. So by the end of like April, it was like, we've already had the amount that we had last year. So it just is rising. I think it's happening more, but I also think people are learning how to report. So I think it's being reported more too. ::Slide - Who Are These Predators?:: So, so some of you guys might know who are these predators and how do they find our kids, but um, in case you don't know, here's some things that they've been known to do, um, is they fake who they are. You know, I talk to kids about this. And so that's what I, um, want you guys to be doing if you're not already doing is telling your kids, Hey, these predators don't look like predators. You know, they look like, just like you, they have whole fake accounts pretending to be a kid. Um, when I talk to kids, I tell 'em like, and these fake accounts, like a lot of kids think they're just really cocky and they're like, oh, I'll be able to tell no, these accounts look so real. Some of our agents have a hard time knowing that that's a predator because they've made a whole fake life. They have videos, they have, you know, pictures, they have all these things that are showing that they're at an actual kid, but they're really not. So teaching our kids that not everybody online is really who they say they are. And, um, how they ga gain even more access is they step into any vulnerabilities, um, to gain trust and manipulate our kids. So they, they start really getting to know our kids. We need to teach our kids to not share a lot of personal information online. Um, because it's pretty normal to like just talk to anybody online and you wanna gain friendships, but we need to teach our kids that, that's one of the ways that these predators connect with them is they ask them all the things that they wanna share. You know, and I know it sounds silly, but favorite color, favorite movie, favorite video game. And then they end up using that information later to kind of manipulate them. So if we're teaching our kids ahead of time to not just like, give all that information out, then we are teaching them to kind of have that filter to help protect them. Um, and again, I'll give throughout, ::Slide - Who Are These Predators #2:: I'll kind of give tips and tricks. I've kind of changed this up a few times, so, um, hopefully you guys will get a lot of good stuff out of this. Another way, um, that OSBI specifically has told me some ways that the, um, kids are being, uh, contacted and even being tricked into sending like maybe inappropriate pictures or things like that is, um, the predators offer gifts. So a lot of times it looks like in-app purchases, so you have a lot of kids that game, right? Roblox, Fortnite, you name it, they're gaming online. And typically when they game online, they game online with people they've never met in real life. 'cause that's just how gaming works. And, um, there are actual in-app points, Robuck, eBucks, Minecoins, I can name not all of them, but a lot of them and are, what the predators are doing is they just offer those up. They just say, Hey, I just wanna, you know, be kind and send you these things. And kids are like, heck yeah, you know, because they're probably begging their parents to pay for some Robucks or eBucks and their parents are like, I am not wasting my money on that. So when someone just offers it to 'em, of course they're gonna wanna just take it. And that's usually one of the ways in that these predators have, um, to start connecting with kids. And then sometimes they flip it on 'em and say, well, I gave you that, so now you need to do something for me. Um, and then it really makes kids feel like they're in this box and they're like, oh my gosh, I'm getting, you know, threatened and I don't know what to do with it. Um, other ways is they, uh, you know, give kids stuff off of their Amazon wishlist, they send them gift cards, um, they can even do a lot of this through just the phone nowadays, you know what I mean? And so your kids might be getting gift cards to Starbucks or something like that, and it's already uploaded to their, um, account and you, you didn't know this. And so those are just some small little ways of how this stuff is happening. ::Slide - Internet Crimes Against Children Trends:: So, um, and Sierra, I'm not, if you wanna check the chat, if there's ever like a question that pops up that you think you want me to stop and answer, I'm totally happy to do that. [Sierra McClendon] You got it. I'm monitoring it. Keep going, Ronni. You're doing great. [Ronni Roney] Awesome. Okay, so some red flags of Sextortion. So these are some things I want you guys to be mindful of. And this, again, everything I'm giving you guys is something I would love for you to take back and, you know, teach your kids these things as well. So, um, move communication from one platform to another. So what happens here is, um, say your kid is connecting with somebody online, let's say Roblox, okay? Um, and they're having a good time hanging out on Roblox and then this, um, potential predator, but most likely looks like a kid says, Hey, what's your Discord? Okay, Discord is an app, which I'm sure a lot of you know, but in case you don't is a lot of gamers use it. That's kind of how it started was this like chat app for gamers. So they talk on Discord while they're either gaming or something like that. And so then they say, what's your Discord? So we can talk on there. Well, all apps, let me just start with this. There has not been a single app, social media or gaming site that has not had child sexual abuse material on it. There is like this, there are tons of studies out there, and I think they say this from the National Center for Missing and Exploited Children. There's not a single app or social media that hasn't had some form of whether it's grooming or child sexual abuse material on it at some point, um, and continues to have it on there. S o where are these predators gonna be? They're gonna be where the kids are. So they're gonna be on Roblox, they're gonna be on Minecraft. And it's really sad, but it's true. Um, and so teaching our kids that when they are talking to us on Roblox, but ask us to move to a different way to talk to them, the reason why it can be dangerous is because Discord, Snapchat, WhatsApp, those are kind of some of the main ones. Those are considered encrypted apps. And so encrypted means private. Um, and the way I explain it to kids is it means private. So they're, they think they're less likely to get caught. And honestly, like, you know, those types of apps, they don't have as much like filters or things that like, um, you know, no pun intended here, but alert the, the company of the app that something bad's going on, okay? They, that's, they're all about privacy, but to us in the internet crimes against children world, that really to us means secret. Like they're trying to keep a conversation secret. So teaching our kids that when they are trying to move you to a different platform, that could be because they're trying to have a more secretive conversation with you. Um, again, coercing children within at points, a lot of the reciprocation I'll show you if you show me, um, even though we all know that these people can get pictures from anywhere and everywhere to pretend they're a kid, okay? Um, sometimes our kids don't, don't understand that. They think, well, if they sent me an inappropriate picture, that's obviously them. So now that I know it's a kid, I will now send an inapp inappropriate picture back. Um, but in reality they're usually got these inappropriate pictures from other victims that they've, um, connected with. So these are just some things to kind of be aware of. ::Slide - Internet Crimes Against Children Trends #2:: Um, when it comes to sextortion, they sometimes, um, physically threaten to hurt or sexually assault the child or even family members. So they'll do the whole, okay, if you don't send me more pictures or more videos or if you don't send me money, we've been seeing financial Sextortion has been really, um, kind of ramped up lately. And specifically financial sextortion with, um, I think it's, let me me find my statistic. I don't wanna say it wrong. Um, of course I can't find it right off the bat, but I, I think it's like 12 to 15, 16-year-old boys are a huge target right now for financial sextortion. Um, and it's usually people from overseas that are connecting with them, but they don't know this. And they basically are saying, if you don't send me money, then I'm going to do these things, or I'm going to, because maybe they've already sent a nude picture. Then they say, I'm going to send this nude picture to all your friends and your family if you don't send me money. And they're not, A lot of times I think people think this online stuff happens to like our at risk kids, right? Or our kids that, um, are lonely and all these things. And yes, they are maybe more, um, again, at risk for those things, but they actually are also contacting kids that have a lot to lose, is how I say it. So, um, we've seen it when it comes to, what's that called, like recruiting, okay? There's all these recruiting sites where kids wanting to get scholarships, whether whatever sport it's for, and these predators find those kids that are wanting to be recruited and then they extort them because they know that more than likely these kids are going to send them money, they're going to continue to comply because they don't wanna lose their scholarship. They are afraid now that that's gonna get out. And um, we've had a kid actually in Oklahoma, I know there's plenty of stories in Oklahoma, but one I know for sure who gave close to a thousand dollars just over time to these people trying to make sure that his pictures didn't get out because he was afraid he was gonna lose his scholarship. Um, so, um, talking to our kids about that, and I'll give some examples of how we can talk to them, but just letting 'em know that this is a possibility, um, is a huge thing. And then a really sad thing. But sometimes these predators actually threaten to commit suicide themselves. Like, I'm going to kill myself if you don't do this. And that really pulls at the heartstrings of our young kids because suicide is such a, um, highly talked about topic, which is, you know, it's good because there's a lot of, um, there's less stigma to talk about it, right? And bring awareness to it. But then now they're, they're using that vulnerability of kids being afraid that they're gonna be the reason why someone commits suicide. So that's how they threaten them and they get them to comply with their demands. Um, oh, wrong thing. I'm trying to click. ::Slide - Stats:: Um, just some quick stats because he doesn't like stats. Lemme see how I'm doing on time. 93% of online financial sextortion is from sending an inappropriate picture happens to boys. Um, so again, like I said, that's a huge, if boys for whatever reason are a big target, 59% of minors reported potentially harmful online behaviors. 46% of minors shared an inappropriate picture, have done so with someone they met online. I kind of shared something similar to that earlier. Um, the average predator connects with 250 kids with an estimated 500,000 predators active each day. So I, I tell that statistic to kids, I say, average online predator connects with 250 kids, and they go, oh my gosh. 'cause they just still don't think that it's happens that often. So when you tell them that, it's not like a scared them straight type thing, but it is like a, let's, let's check it out. Like this is real, this is happening here in Oklahoma. One in five minors, nine to 12 years old have reported an inappropriate online interaction with the person they believe to be an adult. So that's a pretty high statistic of the ones that actually report. So imagine the ones that I think that statistic's probably higher because there's kids that don't report, and we'll talk about how we can help with that. ::Slide - alrt! Equips Kids:: Um, this is just my cool little to show you alert, equip equips kids to keep themselves safe. So here's my, um, little shout out. If you have kids in, um, you know, different schools, I would love to be able to come and bring this to kids in schools, or even if you guys ever wanna have like a, you know, a get together with some kids and I come and, and talk to them themselves about it, would love the, uh, you guys to give my recommendation or whatever it's called, send that to, um, your kids' school. This is all free when I give these talks and would love to get this into more, um, more kids' heads and hands and all, all the things to help them with, uh, how to keep themselves safe. So parents, we can't do it all right? Our kids have to know what also to do to keep themselves safe. And I think we need to give them that power. We need to let them know they can do things to keep themselves safe, and it's not all up to us. And that helps them feel like a sense of responsibility is what I've noticed when I teach this curriculum. Oh, okay. Okay. So I am gonna show you guys a video. Um, this is from Bark. I'm sure everybody's heard of Bark. Um, they are a monitoring, um, like company. And, um, this video is from a documentary called Childhood 2.0. If you've ever, um, seen that it's, this is just a short little clip. If you haven't, I highly recommend it, but it does scare the, the bageebees out of you probably. Um, so I'm just gonna show you guys this clip. Let's hope it works and we'll go from there. ::Bark Childhood 2.0 Documentary:: Didn't work. Cool. Um, I also have it pulled up over here, just depends on what I'm on. Let's just pull this over. [Brian Bason] So we at bark, unfortunately detect issues around online child predation very frequently. Last year alone, [Ronni Roney] You can't hear it. [Sierra McClendon] We can hear it, but I think it's playing on another screen. So we see just the paused picture on the presentation. [Ronni Roney] Oh, biscuits. Okay, hold on. [Carli Van Woerkom] You have to unshare and reshare. [Ronni Roney] Yeah, That's annoying. ::Attendees visible:: [Sierra McClendon] I know Zoom doesn't allow for its own technical issues, I don't think, [Ronni Roney] Right? Okay. Is it this it's this one. [Sierra McClendon] Maybe one day we will get there, [Ronni Roney] Right? ::bark Childhood 2.0 Documentary (again):: Okay, let's just gimme a thumbs up if you hear it. [Brian Bason] So, we at bark, unfortunately detect issues around online child predation very frequently. Last year alone, we escalated 450 online child predators to law enforcement. And so we, we know that it's a common problem. Uh, unfortunately we think most parents underestimate the, the, the commonality of that problem. [Titania Jordan] We decided to go undercover as multiple children on social media and post innocuous content to see what would happen. We had to be very intentional with everything we did. We had to create personas, they had to have believable date of births, and we had to know everything about the city that they lived in. And we had to create storylines and we worked closely with law enforcement [Brian Bason] And basically just pushed, pushed, go. We put the, we put everything live and, and we documented what happened. [Speaker 1] Within the first hour of posting on Libby's accounts, seven adult men contacted her by the end of nine days, that number was 92. The conversations ranged in severity from making sexual comments to sharing and requesting explicit photos and videos to manipulation and threats. [Titania Jordan] The, The rate at which these messages came in was mind-boggling. And of course, when you're dealing with social media and the internet, it's a global thing. It's not just an east coast thing or a US based thing. We tried it with younger personas as well. [Brian Bason] Even even an 11-year-old. [Speaker 1] We launched our 11-year-old persona online. [Speaker 2] It's 4:44 and go. Oh One, like from a guy whose profile photo is a penis. One, one. So [Titania Jordan] Let's say it's one minute and seven seconds, we have a message request, [Speaker 2] Although this, sorry, two more requests just came in. How much time? A minute and 40 seconds? [Titania Jordan] Yeah, how old are you? How old are you? You go to the profile, you know that that is a child. It also says in the profile that the child is in sixth grade, the inbox is just boom, boom, boom, boom. [Brian Bason] This happens to all types of children. Um, this is not just kids who might be at risk, you know, oftentimes it's a child who's simply bored. [Ronni Roney] Uh, all right, so he says, hold on, lemme see if I can gimme out. Here we go. ::Slide - Setting Guidelines/screenshare/Attendees visible/Setting Guidelines:: I've got it on two different places. Okay, share again. Um, I think this is the right one. ::Slide - Setting Guidelines:: Okay, so can we see the setting guidelines thing? Okay. Um, so at the end he says, oftentimes this happens to kids who are just alone in their bedroom at night and bored. So basically saying that's one of the ways that we can help our kids is not let them just have their phones alone in their bedroom at night while they're bored. Um, and another way they, I don't remember if they say it on this documentary or not, but it's like, would we put a note on our front door that's like, Hey, door's unlocked my kid's bedroom is the second one on the left. Go on in. You know, that's basically what we're saying if we're allowing our kids just free access to their electronics without us knowing what's going on, um, specifically again in their bedrooms and all that kind of stuff. Um, so I think I was gonna say something else, but I forgot. I don't remember. So here are some things that I think, uh, we need to think about when it comes to our kids and their, you know, phones and electronic use is, if you think about it, when our kids turn 16, do we just toss 'em the keys and say, good luck? No. Right? We do some type of driver's ed, whether we're teaching them or we pay, unfortunately a lot of money for someone else to teach them driver's ed. So we need to do the same thing when it comes to electronics. We need to teach them how to use their electronics correctly, um, and not just hand it to 'em and expect them to know to do the right thing. Um, and so some things to kind of think about is when you're going, is it time for my kid to have technology or not? When it comes to a phone, is does my child have a sense of responsibility? Um, do they check in? Do they lose things a lot? Can they, um, adhere to limits that we have? Um, when do they want it versus when do they need it? Have your child give you a proposal. So asking your kid to be like, Hey, tell me when, when you think you deserve this. Um, and then have them make a pros and cons list or, or make it with them, um, and discuss it is a huge thing. Um, so it's not just you saying no, it's a, a actual conversation between you and your kiddo. ::Slide - Parent Should Ask Kids:: Um, some things you can talk to your kid about when we're talking about online stuff is in what ways do you see kids using phones for good? What are some examples of your friends opening you using their phones? And in what ways do you think they will be challenged? Um, or the kid will be challenged, uh, while with using their phone? Moderately. Um, again, just having open conversations with your kids. And sometimes they're the weird conversations, but we have to have them or else they're learning from somebody else at school and somebody that we're now gonna have to reteach them. So if we just start out already having these conversations, it can really help our kids in the long run. ::Slide - How Do We Protect Our Kids?:: So, um, how we can protect our kids is set privacy settings and use parental controls. So, um, they, things have gotten better in this, uh, realm. And, um, used to like you had to have an extra third party app to have parental controls and privacy settings, but now, um, like iPhones and Androids, like have a, at least a small set of parental controls, it's still not great, but at least it starts out with some ways to do that. Um, but there are, uh, monitoring apps, and I'll give you some of my suggestions on that in a minute, but it's extremely important to have privacy settings and use parental controls. Um, and I know a lot of kids think, you know, it's my privacy, like, you, you shouldn't see my stuff, but you know, they live in your home. They need to, they need to listen to you. I know it's hard, but, um, a couple things when it comes to just the internet in general, some stuff I've found is that 27% of all video content on the unfiltered internet, um, is pornographic or explicit in some way. So 27%, um, is pornographic or explicit. And then in 2019, porn sites received more traffic than Amazon, um, Twitter, now X and Netflix combined. So Amazon, Twitter, and Netflix combined, um, porn sites received more traffic than those. Um, I think that is just kind of a pretty alarming statistic showing you just how normal it is unfortunately for, um, for, you know, pornographic things to be kind of starting to become normal for kids. ::Slide - Phone Fundamentals - Big Ten Parameters:: Um, so we need to make sure our kids know this information right out the gate, um, when introducing smartphones. So if you haven't done this, you can always go back. Um, so you can say, here's some things I want to talk to you about when it comes to your phone. And if you start with these, then there's no surprises. There's no like what, like, you are changing things on me now. So you can say, Hey, I've had this, you know, talk and now I feel like, you know, if you're realizing you need to do some of these things just now, bring it back up to them and say, here's some things that I wanna go over with you. And, um, so you guys will get all of this stuff, um, so that you can have it and, and deal more with it la later. But, uh, these are just some really like, kind of the Big 10 Parameters that you can talk to your kids about. ::Slide - How Do We Protect Our Kids? #2:: So setting screen times and screen zones. So, um, what I mean by that is whether it's on the phone, um, or a third party app, but having actual screen times for the different, um, apps on the phone. So they can only be on YouTube this long, they can only be on, um, TikTok this long and setting those screen times. And then when I'm, what I talk about screen zones is, honestly, I know it's hard, but screens should really be used in a, in the public places in your home. So not letting them go behind any closed doors, bedrooms, um, specifically bathrooms. A lot of kids, I know they have to take their phones while they go to the bathroom, but in my opinion, they're in a more vulnerable state. They're already, you know, having to take some other clothes off to go to the bathroom. And that's where we see kids more likely to send the inappropriate pictures because they're alone in their bathroom with their phone. So, um, those are just some easy ways to kind of help protect from that. ::Slide - Penalty Box:: Um, some stuff to talk to your kids about is, um, you don't want to assume that they know these things. So kids and teens are very literal and we have to be very clear. So not just saying don't do bad things, it's like if you disable any parental controls on your phone, you will be in trouble. You install or delete anything on your phone without my permission. You sneak your phone. Like you have to be very literal about these things with kids, uh, because they'll try to tell you, I didn't understand, I didn't know you meant that. So here are some good ones to, to think about. And again, I'll give these to you later, so I'm gonna skip through 'em kind of quick. ::Slide - How Do We Protect Our Kids? #3:: Um, so I've said a lot about having regular phone discussions and, and also do phone checks. So some parents do a phone check every single night and they then also have the, um, kids charging their phones by like the parents' beds, um, because then it also guarantees that it's not going in their room. Um, 'cause even if you do the whole shut off at a certain time, y'all kids get around this stuff so easily, it's not even funny. Um, one of the ways I've been seeing kids get around screen time specifically is that they change their clock on their phone. So they go in, they change the clock the time, and therefore our smartphones aren't super smart and they think, oh, specific. So let me see if I can give that example. Like if at eight, 8:00 PM like they can't do certain things anymore, okay, they then change it to their clock to 6:00 PM and their clock and their phone's like, oh, it's not eight yet, it's six. So you can still beyond these things. Those are things to kind of think about. Um, and honestly, a lot of parents ask me like, what are the bad apps? You know, what are the automatic like nos? And there's, there can be a lot of automatic nos, but the, what I want parents to realize is that when your kids turn 18, more than likely they're gonna like jump on getting some of these apps, right? So if we, if we teach them and slowly give them more, um, responsibility over time, then it'll be better for them. When they do turn 18, when they do get a chance to be on the app, now they know what to look out for and how to handle it. Um, one of the apps for us for whatever reason was Snapchat. We would not let our kids have Snapchat until they turned 18. Um, and of course as soon as my daughter turned 18, she had Snapchat and within like a day or two she came to me and she was like, Ronni, 'cause she's my bonus daughter. She's like, "Ronni, I now understand why you didn't want me to have Snapchat. I'm glad I didn't have it any younger because my eyes are forever scarred." And I'm like, exactly. So, uh, but we talked about it a lot before she had Snapchat, but instead of just saying no, not a good app, really mean explaining it more. ::Slide - Communication 01:: Um, okay, so where am I at? I am going to go through a few of these things and then we'll have time for questions. Uh, so explain why your kids shouldn't give out personal information. So give giving the kids the why I am sure you've heard this a lot of times is, um, what helps kids not just say, don't share information, explain why. So some of the things I talked about today, they may not be who they say they are. Um, don't put your school and posting your pictures and uh, things like that because there are predators out there that try to find that stuff on kids. Um, and then explaining that like, you can't be around 24/7. So they, this is a way they can help keep themselves safe. I just, I give them that language like, you can do this. And that makes them feel a lot more like, oh, I'm in charge of myself. ::Slide - Communication 02:: Tell them what to do if an inappropriate pop-up happens. This sounds really silly and like obviously they should know what to do, but sometimes they don't. They don't, they don't realize, and a lot of times, I'm sure you guys might know this, but when it comes to apps, there's not like a lot of, um, what's the word? Um, monitoring when it comes to like, anybody can make apps. Anybody can put an age range on an app that they make. So there's not a lot of like checks and balances. There's a lot of apps out there that's like 4-year-old and up. And when you look into the app, you're like, this is not for four year olds. But anyways, it's allowed to be out there. So, um, explaining to them like if a popup happens when they're playing a free game or something like that, a lot of times it, I've seen on my own kids when he's playing like Ryan's World, you know, that's obviously for kids. The popup that happens is like a half dressed lady saying, come play with me. You know, like that's not okay. So teaching kids, like if that happens, you press the X button, you turn your head, you look away, you turn your phone upside down, you get out of the game altogether. If it has a timer because they do that now and the X isn't automatic, then do all those things and wait for the timer and then click it, um, to get out of it. But don't click on these things. Don't continue watching them explain that. That's like their goal is to get them to watch these things and that's is not okay for their, their brains basically. ::Slide - Communication 03:: Um, screens don't make you safe. A lot of kids just feel super safe behind a screen. They think everything's fine as long as these people aren't in person. But there's just so many ways that even through a screen that predators can connect with kids. And um, you know, we've already talked about all that stuff, but just explaining that to kids. Um, give them examples of ways that these, uh, predators groom kids. And another example would be, um, a lot of times that predator is that, like I said, that best friend, that one that they, um, will kind of tell everything to. And we've seen predators say, well, just so you know, if your parents ever find out we're talking, they're probably gonna be upset, but that's just 'cause they don't love you and they don't want you to be happy. Um, but I just kind of wanted you to know that. And so then when kiddo tells parents or parents find out, parents get upset and now kiddo thinks they're right, my parents hate me, they don't want me to be happy, and now they've already gotten in their mind. So telling kids ahead of time that this could happen is a huge way to protect them. ::Slide - Communication 04:: I think I already said this, but check privacy settings because sometimes when our phones update, our apps update, the default is public. And so, um, if their stuff is supposed to be on private, make sure that it is, tell them to check it every few weeks because it does change. sometimes. They're trying to pass a law to make it to where defaults are now private, but it hasn't completely passed yet. ::Slide - Communication 05:: A big one is ask questions. Is something happening online? So you ask your kids all the time, like, you know, how is school, how is baseball? How is this? But do we say this specific question? How is everything going online? How is the playing Roblox going for you? Again, they're very literal, very specific, and they're unfortunately sometimes waiting for you to ask that exact right question. So then you can help talk them through a situation. ::Slide - Internet Crimes Against Children Trends - Common Apps:: Um, I will just drop some of these things in, in the chat in a little bit, ::Slide - Internet Crimes Against Children Trends - Concerning Features:: but, um, really they're just different apps to kind of look out for. ::Slide - Internet Crimes Against Children Trends - Main Safety Messages:: Um, but none of the, again, all of them can be dangerous. So it's, there's none that are, I'm just like, oh my gosh, don't have that. Uh, main things we need to be telling our kids is when it comes to inappropriate, um, images, okay? Is that we need to start teaching our kids to not even ask to, for another kid to send an inappropriate image. So I say this in, in my, in the schools I go to, I say, we should never ask. It's inappropriate, it's gross, it's disgusting. And I let kids kind of answer that and they all feel that way, but I think secretively inside, they're like, but that's kind of what happens is you get asked to do it. It's part of dating now, but teaching our kids, it shouldn't be a part of dating. It's not a step in your, you know, uh, what am I trying to say? Your dating line, whatever, you know what I mean? Like first base, second base. Like it's not, it's not in there. It shouldn't be in there and teaching kids that it shouldn't be. Um, obviously do not send. So if anybody asks, we should not be sending and then do not share. A lot of times kids are getting things that they never asked for, okay, it just pops up. But we should not reshare and talk to a lot about talking to a trusted adult or yourself. And then, um, ICAC is a huge place to report cyber tips. ::Slide - Take It Down:: And I'll show that in a second. If your kids do have anything, um, like say they have sent an explicit image and um, you know, it's out there somewhere. There's this, uh, thing called Take It Down. It's on, um, ICAC's website and it is a way that, um, basically they take the photo, um, without you uploading it 'cause that would be illegal, but they take what's called the hash value from this photo and it's kinda like a fingerprint for a photo. They take the hash value off the inappropriate picture, they send it into their kind of cloud, and then it's constantly kind of looking for that digital fingerprint. And anytime it dings on any of like, you know, websites or things like that, then ICAC sends 'em a message and says, this is a real life kid, take it down. And so then at that point, they are required by law to take it down, but until they find out that it's a real kid, because there's so much AI and deep fakes now, um, places won't take it down until they know it's a real kid, which is really sad. ::Slide - Helpful Resources:: Um, I will put all of these resources in, so I'm kind of going through them really quickly, but "Good Pictures, Bad Pictures" is a really great book. There's two different versions of it for little kids. Great way to start out, you know, already talking about what good pictures and bad pictures are. ::Slide - Helpful Resources #2:: Um, just some more things. Again, I'll put all this in there. ::Slide - Parental Control Apps:: So parental control apps, Bark is good, but Bark has some issues with iPhones if, um, some of you guys know that because iPhone is all secure and things like that, and you have to be connected to like the home network for it to like all happen. So it, it still works. Like when you go back and connect to your home network, you then get all the updates, but while they're outside of your like wifi area, you aren't getting updates live time. But um, Qustodio is kind of the number one that I've seen. Um, when it comes to parental controls that work on both Androids and iPhones and not all of these, some of 'em are free, some of them aren't. Um, just kind of depends, but I'll put this, um, there's like a whole guide to these and I'll put this in the chat. ::Slide - Reporting (1-800-843-5678):: Um, cyber tip line, here's the number, but again, I'll put that in the chat. These are places that we need to be reporting, um, teaching our kids to report and block like it is, that is okay. It's normal to report and block people online. Um, we, you have to do that to keep yourself safe. And then we also need to talk to a trusted adult when that happens. ::Slide - Homework:: Um, so I am going to stop sharing for now so we can have questions. ::Attendees visible:: Um, well I guess real quick before questions, um, I want like my, my homework for you guys is once I, let me see if I can put it in the chat now. Is that okay if I drop stuff in the chat or do you want it? Okay, I'll drop it in the chat and I'm sure we'll resend it. [Sierra McClendon] Yeah, You can drop it in the chat and then I'll also upload it to our shared Google Drive database too. Um, so we'll have it in both versions. [Ronni Roney] Cool. Um, so here are bunch of websites and these are like little, um, not little but some like different types of guides that you can go through and look at. ::Slide - ALRT Internet Safety Part 1 - Ronni Roney, Education Director - Complete Evaluation for CE or Foster Care Attendance Certificate (QR code link = https://ousurvey.qualtrics.com/jfe/form/SV_72lcJZDy56R1ye?Q_CHL=qr):: So my homework for you guys would be, um, if you don't already have a monitoring app, um, between now and the next time, look through some of these and um, try them out so then we can talk about 'em and see if they've worked well for you or not. Um, also my homework is for you to have a weird conversation with your kid. Now that sounds weird, but sounds weird to have a weird conversation but sit down with them and say, Hey, what's happening online or is there anything you wanna talk to me about? Because the likelihood, um, I think it's one in six minors did not disclose their online sexual interactions to anyone after it happened. And a lot of kids are talking to me about how they're worried they're gonna get in trouble, you know, even though you as a parent probably have told them a million times, you will not get in trouble. You can always come to me, you can always talk to me. Well, they still fear that and so just you bringing it up is going to be a lot more helpful, um, for them to be able to do this. And so, um, just constantly having those conversations is you, you can talk to me and make sure that if they do bring something up to you that we don't freak out, we don't like automatically take, you know, the Xbox away or the phone away. Is there a way we can chat with them because is it something that they got tricked into doing or is it something they specifically sought out? You know, there's a difference there. Um, because we want our kids to be able to come to us and talk to us. Alright, questions? Oh, there was a couple things I was supposed to go over. Um, I know one of the questions Sierra talked about was, uh, potentially, um, kids reaching out looking for their, um, bio parents and things like that when it comes to adoption. And a lot of stuff that I've like looked up when it comes to that is, um, yes, that can be dangerous, but I'm not, I am not a mental health person, but the things that I've seen is that, um, that should be something that can be done together. Like making it more of a like, let me help you do this and not like an automatic no, don't look for your bio parents 'cause you know, they're dangerous and all these things. Maybe you guys can have more conversations of what are you wanting from this interaction with your bio parents? Like, what are, what are you, what are you wanting to look for? And getting the kids understanding of that and then saying like, let's work on this together. Um, is what all the stuff I've learned. Um, that helps with that, that part where kids are just wanting to know more about where they came from. They wanna know about their health, they wanna know why they look the way they look or they wanna know why their parents gave them up, all the things. Um, but if you have those conversations like, Hey, I get that you're interested in this, let me help you navigate it. Um, I think it's been probably the, the best way to do it. I know that's not super insightful, but Okay. Officially questions. Sorry. [Sierra McClendon] We uh, we had a couple of questions in the chat that I was saving for our time here, so I'm gonna ask those. Um, we had Emily ask, um, "How are statistics impacted if the kids don't have access to phones, iPads, internet games? I know kids can be sneaky and their friends may still have access, but if a child doesn't have their own devices, does that impact these statistics? Do they go down?" [Ronni Roney] Um, yes, I think they do go down, but um, I will say yes, they, they somehow find a way through their friends. Um, I have unfortunately seen, um, kids pay like 20 bucks for, uh, like an old iPhone that another kid gave him at school, like my own child. Uh, one of my, um, older, he's an adult child now, but at some point in high school paid 20 bucks. And so he, he had a whole nother phone that was just connected to wifi that he looked up porn and lots of things on that I had no idea about. So there's just so many ways around it. Another one is, um, to look out for is, um, Google Docs. A lot of kids, if they get grounded from all the things, but they still have access to their like school computer, they literally just text on Google Docs. So they just share a Google doc with a friend and they're just writing back and forth on a Google Doc. Um, another way is say you um, at a certain point you shut them off from YouTube. Well they can put a link in Google Docs, click it and then it kind of surpasses that, uh, what am I trying to say? Surpasses that control and they still can watch YouTube. So it's like some weird way of if you click it through Google Docs, the phone does not pick up on what you're doing. [Sierra McClendon] Okay, thank you. Thank you. We have another question from Megan. Megan says, "I work with LGBTQ+ youth. Are there any specific things that either predators use or professional slash parents need to know about this topic in the LGBTQ+ population? Especially for kids who aren't safe to be at home? Finding internet communities can be really powerful and beneficial for them, but I imagine it opens them up to vulnerabilities in other ways." [Ronni Roney] Yes. I'm trying to find that question so I can see it. Okay. Megan got it. Um, is there, um, um, yes, sorry, had to reread that. Um, so there definitely are, um, some communities out there and I agree like, you know, we don't wanna just cut our kids off from the online world because that's literally their world nowadays. Like it's everything is online. And so finding safe ways for them to continue to find friends and things like that online, um, I can definitely get some, um, what am I trying to say? Some resources for that. Um, I will say that I think in the statistics that LGBTQ+, um, youth are at a higher risk of being contacted either online or having those, um, those conversations. And, uh, I don't know all the reasons. I just know, um, sometimes they are just considered unfortunately a vulnerable, um, population and so they're con contacted quite a bit more. Um, so yeah, I can definitely send some resources. [Sierra McClendon] Awesome. And we have a final question. If there was some more in here. I do apologize. Luckily we have a part two with Ronni, so if I missed any, we'll we'll definitely have those for her. Um, the last question that I see is from a research standpoint, um, from Casey, "Is there any recommendations on an age as to when a child should have this type of access ha have access say with the phone or other devices?" [Ronni Roney] Yeah, so a lot of the research I'm seeing is eighth grade for smartphones. Um, there's like a whole pledge, Wait Til Eighth and they're asking parents to kind of like come together because the big thing that's happening is that there's some parents that are like not doing it, not doing it, not doing it. And then the friend groups start slowly getting to have the phones right? And then that parent feels pressured because now they feel bad 'cause their kids being left out. Um, and I know that might sound like there's no way I'd ever feel that way, but I, I can see it. I, I've seen it happen with a couple of kids that, um, I know through our board members here and they're super great kids, but it's like they, uh, specifically like Instagram, you know, they weren't allowing their kid to have Instagram and I totally understand, but then their friends were always send like little reels and things in their group message and then they're like, I can't ever see them. I feel so like, oh I, that must be a funny video. So Wait Til Eight and talking to um, your kids', their, your kids' friends', parents and all having the same like thought process and let's all wait, um, has been super helpful for people. So eighth grade for smartphones and then, um, they just say slowly after that giving them a little bit more and more responsibility while they're under, you know, your roof, um, has been like shown to really help kids because you're not just super strict, like you're teaching them how to keep themselves safe and giving them a little bit more rope as they go, um, to help them navigate it better. ::Attendees visible:: [Sierra McClendon] Fantastic. I think that's all the questions that I see in the chat. Do we have a final question from anybody else? Alright, well thank you all so much for joining us today. Um, Ronni has a part two with us after we all kind of complete our little homework assignments. Part two will be on November 12th, so we have a little bit of time to do those. The, um, evaluation has been posted into the chat. if you are needing CEUs or foster care certificates, please make sure to fill that out. And there was also a link to pay for your CEUs. If you have any questions, things like that, please feel free to send me an email. I will upload some infographics that, um, Ronni sent over as well as, um, any of the presentation material that she shares over to that Google Drive. Um, in addition to some of these like slides and links and all of those kind of things she told us to be on the lookout for because I know I was not able to screenshot it quick enough myself. So we will have all of that kind of in that resource drive in a one-stop shop for everyone. And if there are any questions like I said, please feel free to contact me and we will see hopefully all of you back on the 12th. Have a great rest of your Tuesday. ::Silence as attendees log off::