::Slide - Presentation Title - alrt! An innovative program to teach kids online safety. Ronni Roney, Education Director, Abbott House Child Advocacy Center.:: [Sally Anuoar] Lunch and learn. This Lunch and Learn is being brought to you by a collaboration between Oklahoma Human Services, university of Oklahoma and, and Henry Zarrow School of Social Work, and the Center for Adoption and Family Wellbeing. We appreciate everyone joining during your lunch noon hour. We wanna get started so we can make sure to respect everyone's time and the great information being discussed today. First, let's go over a few housekeeping things for our time together this afternoon. We are recording this meeting by participating, you're giving your consent to be recorded, help us reduce distractions so we can all focus and participate. We have muted everyone to make sure is possible for everyone to hear the speaker. We want you to express your thoughts and questions. Please utilize the chat for this purpose. We'll monitor the chat and questions will be touched upon during our Q&A time during the last 15 minutes of the webinar. We wanna see you if you're willing, and can please turn on your video if you're un if you are unable, that is fine also. To receive information about other post-adoption events, please list your name and email in the chat and we'll make sure to add you to our contact list. Remember, confidentiality, it is vital that we protect confidential information, so we will not share specifics about foster and adoption cases. All materials from this presentation will be available to you, after the presentation. You'll receive an email during including a link to the resource database. Now I hand everything off to Ronni, who is today's host. ::Attendees visible:: [Ronni Roney] Hello, can you hear me okay? Okay. Um, I'm on wifi and it doesn't look great, so just interrupt me if I'm starting to cut out or something like that, but, huh! It's been, it's been a day. Um, well I am excited to have, um, all of you guys here today. Um, I was able to, um, present about a month ago or something like that, and now I'm back. Um, I would like to start with, because we ended last time and I'm not sure how many people were on last time versus this time, so I don't wanna like re-say anything, but I also know that some people might have missed some stuff. So, um, we ended last time with our talk, so, well, let me restart since there might be people that don't know me. My name's Ronni. I am from Abbott House in Norman. And, um, we are a child advocacy center and basically, um, that just means we're a safe place for kids to come and talk. And, um, my job is the education director and so I go and I talk to, um, adults about recognizing, responding and reporting. But then I also talk, um, to kids and parents about this alrt! curriculum that we've developed. It means avoid, learn, react, tell, and it's basically teaching two sides. One, we're teaching kids how to keep themselves safe online, what to look out for when it comes to online predators and how to, um, kind of react and interact in a safe space online. And then the other part is me talking to parents and caregivers about here's also what to look out for on your side of things and maybe some things you guys can do to, um, hopefully keep your kids even more safe online. So that's kind of where I'm coming from. And I know there are some professionals on the call. Hopefully you guys can use some of this with the families you're working with and things like that. I'm hoping this can, you know, be used in all different aspects. So there's all the things where I'm coming from. And last time I did a whole parent presentation over just the dangers of online, obviously about online exploitation, a lot about, um, you know, cyber tips going into the National Center for Missing and Exploited Children. Uh, we partner with, um, OSBI, which is Oklahoma State Bureau of Investigations and we're their prevention kind of education affiliates. And so, um, I get a lot of my information from them. They update me the Internet Crimes Against Children Unit updates me often about kind of the new trends that are happening on how predators are connecting with kids. And then that is what, um, what I use to put, tweak some of my presentations when I go into schools and talk to students as well as parents. So, um, I gave a lot of like the kind of background of, um, it's a scary world out there basically. And I think we all know that. So I think this time I'd like to use for, um, we ended with some homework last time. And so we ended with me saying, you know, here's some resources if you don't have parental, if you haven't checked out any parental apps, maybe check out a couple parental apps. And then I said, you know, here's some other resources on how do you have some conversations with your kids and wanted you guys to have some conversations with your kiddo. So I want you guys to be thinking about that. If you were here last time, I would like to hear that in just a minute. So I'm gonna give you some time to think about that. But while you're thinking, I think I'll go ahead and, um, kind of just hit on some things that maybe I didn't get a chance to hit on last time. Um, and hopefully it's pertinent. Please, like she said, put it in the chat if you have, um, if questions are just coming to mind, stop popping 'em in the chat. And, um, Ms. Sally, are you the one that's helping me today? Yes. Okay. So I think she'll help me with the chat and, um, you know, stop me because I'm gonna share my screen, I think, to, to share some of this stuff, if that's, if that's cool with you guys. All right. So let me share my screen. ::Website - National Center on Sexual Exploitation:: Okay. Are you guys seeing this National Center on Sexual Exploitation? Awesome. Okay, so I talked a little bit about, about this last time. Um, I don't think I was able to play the video, but this is a, it's a great but scary resource for you guys if you want to look in and dig in more on the online world. So, a couple of things. I I don't know that everybody know these things and I'm sorry if you do know these, but I just kind of wanna make sure we're on the same page. So I've learned a lot when it comes to online, um, platforms. Okay. Is there is something called Section 230 k, um, and it's a, don't get me lying to you, I'm not super political. It's like a bill or a law. I'll, I'll scroll down to it 'cause I think it's on here. Well thought it was on here. Sorry, I'm not trying to make anybody right here. Communications Decency Act section 230. So this is, um, how they have it on here is the greatest enabler of online sexual exploitation. So there's misinterpretations of the Communications Decency Act. Um, basically it gives big tech like this blanket immunity for any and all types of sexual abuse and exploitation that they facilitate. So this has been in law for a long time, meaning that if something happens on their site, you know, Facebook, Instagram, you name it, if it happens on their site, they are protected by law that they, they can't get sued, they can't, you know, have to provide damages for anything. Um, they're just protected because it's a third party that's doing the things that are on their app. So legislation, they're trying to change this, um, to, uh, online kids. Like there's like an online kids safety act that's trying to go into place to try to help combat this. Because what's happening is, by law, since they won't get, um, uh, what am I trying to say? I just lost my brain since they won't get, uh, sued and things like that, then they don't have really anything that's telling them that they need to put any protections in place on their apps. Some of them do, but a lot of them don't. And it's because they're not gonna get in trouble. So why waste the money to have these protections and these parental controls and make it, you know, um, safer for kids? They just don't, they don't have the reason to do it. And so because of that, that means on our side of things, we're all combating these very unsafe apps. And as I talk to kids and parents, a lot of people are like, what's the safest kid kid app you can think of? And honestly, there all the research I've looked at, there's not a single app that there has not ever been child sexual abuse material on it. So child pornography or there hasn't been a child predator on it. Every single app has had some form of that on the app at some point or another, or consistently. Um, on a daily basis, there's over 500,000 online predators that are just online. And, um, just through some quick research and stuff they're saying about, uh, each online predator, um, on average has about 250 victims. And so that's just, that's a lot and it's a lot to combat and try to keep our kids safe. Uh, so I just kind of wanna give us the background on that because when I came into this space, I thought, why are these things not more safe? Like, how is it that, you know, Facebook, Instagram, TikTok, Roblox, Fortnite, like how the, especially the things that are made for kids, how can some of these things happen on these platforms? And it's because they don't have these prevention things in place. So, sorry, that was kind of a lot, but I kind of wanted everybody to know that. 'cause that's a big question is like, just why aren't people getting in trouble? 'cause they, by law, they're protected. So, um, I'll go through this Dirty Dozen list. So the, um, National Center for, um, or sorry, National Center on Sexual Exploitation, they put out a Dirty Dozen list. So they're constantly throughout the year, you know, um, basically trying to have conversations with different apps and gaming sites and, and things like that to try to help make these things more safe for kids. And they're constantly bringing them like, Hey, here's an idea on a control that you can put in, or here's an idea on what you can do to keep kids safe. And sometimes they get people that come back with to them and say, yeah, thank you for the suggestion. We'll do it. And then sometimes they don't. And it's a big thing because none of these companies wanna be on their Dirty Dozen list. Um, they actually didn't put out like they were about to put out the Dirty Dozen list this year and they, um, put it off for a week 'cause I can't remember which one, but one of these companies reached out and said, please don't put us on the Dirty Dozen list. Like, we will make these changes if you don't put us on the Dirty Dozen list. So to me, like they have a lot of weight and I think it's really great. So I'll just read through some of these things. So Apple is at the top. Um, the big tech titan refuses to detect child sexual abuse material. They host dangerous apps with deceptive age ratings and descriptions and won't default. Um, safety features for teens and this, um, in general for everyone to know just about anyone can make an app or a game. Okay? Anybody can make an app or a game and put it on Apple's store and, um, or the Android store, I can't remember what that one's called. Um, anybody can, and they can put their own age rating on it. They, it could be whatever they want it to be. Um, Apple I think has a little bit more from, even though they're on the Dirty Dozen list, I think they are doing a little bit better of a job than the Android store when it comes to hopefully starting to see things at the front end. But I can't, can't make any of those promises. They're obviously on the Dirty Dozen list for a reason. Um, so I say that to say, as you guys are looking at apps, your kids are wanting to, um, download certain apps, things like that. Unfortunately we can't just go off of the age range. Um, I have an 8-year-old and he constantly is like, oh mom, this one's four plus. Like, I'll be fine. And I'm like, let me look at that. And so then I have to look at the app and I have to look all through it and see what features it has, you know, um, just, is it truly safe? Because it could be saying a four, four up. Um, but we have seen that some of these apps, they start out as a kid's game or as a kid, you know, apps, whatever it is a game or social media, something like that. And sometimes it goes and then it ends up turning into an adult app. It turns into a, you know, place for predators where they're trying to connect with kids. It turns into something super sketchy, um, or it turns into a way that you have to click on something that takes you out of the app that then takes you into some other place on a phone, on a tablet. And kids don't know that now they're not in that app anymore and they're in a dangerous situation. So I say that about Apple just so we can be aware. A couple of suggestions I have for that, so I'll kind of go through these and give some suggestions, is, um, when you guys have your phones, I'm sure a lot of you guys already do this, but just in case, um, when you have your phones and your kids' phones, if you can put controls on it to where no matter what app they download, whether it's free or paid, it has to, um, what am I trying to say? It has to, I always say ding to you. I, there's another like, more professional way to say that. It has to, um, anybody wanna gimme the words I'm trying to say? [Speaker 1] Authorize? [Ronni Roney] Authorize. You have to authorize it. Thank you. Um, so if you don't already have that set up every, um, Apple phone and Android, I know for sure Apple, but I'm pretty sure Android too. I'm, I'm getting used to both of them. Now, um, have a way to where your kids have to, you have to set it up though every time they want to download something, it sends you a message and you have to say yes or no to it. Okay? That's a huge way we can keep our kids safe, um, because they're not just able to willy-nilly download apps because unfortunately what kids do, um, is they, even if you're great at checking their phone, okay, if you don't have this set up, I've seen kids download apps during the day, play on them, all the things, delete the app, and then you check their phone in the evening and everything is fine. So, um, that's a great way, but be aware. A couple of things I've noticed, it happened to me on my, um, Apple. If you share like an Apple Id like with your kiddos, um, anything you download And so if it's in the cloud, they can just click the button and it downloads. It doesn't actually then, um, send it to you to authorize. Okay? So I would make, we just made my son even though he's eight, his own iCloud. So then, and then we connected it through family sharing on our phone. Um, so then we, we are accepting only apps that he asked for and that we're okay with rather than potential of stuff being on the cloud that he has access to. Um, I think I, that's all I was gonna say about that. All right, so the next one is Cash App. Um, do more with your money shouldn't apply to buying sex and playing or paying for abusive content. This peer-to-peer payment app appeals to pimps, predators, and pedophiles looking for a covert way to conduct criminal activity. Um, so that is definitely what we're seeing. We're seeing, um, you know, say a kid sends an inappropriate picture, um, then they end up getting financially sextorted by a ped or a predator saying, "Hey, you sent me that picture. I will send it out to all of your friends and family unless you send me money via Cash app." Um, and, um, our kids a lot of times have that availability because maybe we put money on their cash app for them to use here or there. Um, so it's, it just has made it easier to to profit off of this stuff. I already talked about Section 230, we've got CloudFlare. Um, they provide a platform for sex buyers, traffickers, and deep fakers. So people like, you know, really changing the way, um, pictures look and videos look and things like that. Um, CloudFlare says it wants to build a better internet, so why does it provide services to some of the most prolific prostitution forums and deep fake sites? So yes, I think they wanna build a better internet, but they also, um, are profiting off of some of these, um, prostitution forums and things like that. Um, which is weird because a while back I had on my, um, one of my like suggestions is to go into CloudFlare DNS settings. Um, and it's something you can do like on your router and you can, um, put in some like, kind of some parental controls through your router. So anything that goes through wifi, it's an extra set of parental controls and CloudFlare had a way to do that. Um, so I don't think they're all bad, but I do think obviously they're providing a platform, which is terrible. Um, Discord. So, um, if you guys don't know what Discord is, it's basically an app. Um, it started out as a platform for, uh, basically gaming, you know, kind of like a social media for gamers, and they have different, um, servers on there where they chat about their different games that they're on. Um, it's kind of like, in my opinion, the best way to explain it's like GroupMe, but for gamers, um, is how I look at it. But it is a hotspot for dangerous interactions and deep fakes. So, um, it's popular with predators that are seeking to groom kids, um, with creeps looking to create trade, create trade or find sexually abusive content of children and un unsuspecting adults. And so, um, definitely something to, if your kids have Discord, I'm not saying it's all bad, they need to know that it, it is a, can be a dangerous place. And what, what I say about, um, Discord or any, any apps if they're, if they're heavily encrypted, okay, encryption means private. It means that company is saying, everything you do on our app is private, it's none of our business. We won't monitor you, we won't. It's, you know, we are giving you all the freedom. And it's like cool, but not cool when it comes to online predators, right? That to them are like, yes, secret, they think secret, not private. So I've been teaching kids, like if you're talking to somebody, say on Roblox or Fortnite, and they say, let's hop over to Discord or WhatsApp or Snapchat, um, normally to kids, that's no big deal. They share their different usernames, they talk on so many different platforms. But if it is an online predator and they're moving them to Discord, Snapchat, WhatsApp, they're moving them. so they're less likely to get caught. Because these apps, again, since they're encrypted, there's no safety features, there's nothing on the backend making sure that there isn't anything unsafe going on. So many unsafe things can be happening, but that company has no idea because they don't check, um, until somebody reports somebody through the app. Um, this stuff just happens. Okay? That's, you know, sexual, um, materials sent. Um, sexual explicit language, videos can all be sent through Discord and, um, the app basically has no idea it's going on. I mean, they do, but they don't look into it. Um, LinkedIn, this one surprised me. Um, the world's largest professional network is an amateur when it comes to stemming sexual exploitation. So they legitimize PornHub and other exploitive, um, enterprises by providing them a platform. So it overlooks users promoting deepfake pornography tools and fails to stop rampant sexual harassment against women. Um, Meta moving fast and making money at all costs leaves children to pay the price. Meta's launch of end-to-end encryption. Again, what I just talked about, um, and open source AI and virtual reality are unleashing new worlds of exploitation. While it's platforms like Instagram continue to tank, or sorry, tank rank among the most dangerous for kids. Microsoft's GitHub is, um, the global hub for creating sexually exploitive AI tech. The vast majority of deep fakes or or nudify apps and AI generated child sexual abuse content originate on this platform owned by the world's richest company. Um, so that you guys know, again, obviously child sexual abuse material is illegal, okay? But when it comes to AI generated deep fake anything that's fake, but, but generated and still, um, obviously child sexual abuse material, actually that is not necessarily illegal, which is, blows my mind. Okay? Um, people cannot get in trouble for making fake child sexual abuse material. They only can get in trouble when they find out that there's a real life kid involved. To me, it shouldn't matter because it's like, that's disgusting, but that's the law right now. So I think, again, they're trying to change some of it to say if these people are willing to make fake things, they should, they're probably willing to take pictures of kids and to exploit real life kids. So we need to be, um, you know, coming after them. But I don't think, I don't think they're there yet. Unfortunately, the law is just behind. Um, Reddit is riddled with sex exploitation, child sexual abuse, material, sex trafficking, and ima image-based sexual abuse, hide in plain sight among endless pornography subreddits allowed on this platform. Content, content which will be further monetized now that Reddit is public. Um, again, that one surprised me. Roblox treats child, uh, protection like a game among the avatars, blocks and buildings, kids are exposed to predators, raped-themed games, and age inappropriate content like sex parties. Um, again, like there was a news story about a girl that was like, oh, I wanna go, you know, um, go into this, uh, world and it's like called dog walking and she's like, oh, I'm gonna go walk my dog. And she goes into this world and it's not dog walking, it's something else to do with dogs and it's very sexual and was really bad. So it's, uh, it's just messed up. Spotify, this is extreme, like people have no idea about this one, but it says music, but basically porn for everyone. They have sexually explicit images, sadistic content and networks trading, child sexual abuse material on its platform, prove Spotify is out of tune with basic child safety measures and moderation practices. So how they can trade these images through Spotify is through their album covers. So people put stuff on any, again, anyone can put a song on Spotify and on their album covers or their album art, there are things you click on and then it takes you into child sexual abuse material, um, or, or porn in general. Um, and then there's also, and they can rate again, their songs, whatever they want, they can say it's not explicit and it ends up being explicit until somebody reports it. Um, just sketchy. Telegram known as the Dark Web Alternative. So Telegram unleashes a new era of exploitation. It's a messaging app serves as a safe haven for criminal communities across the globe. Sexual torture rings, sextortion gangs, deep fakes thoughts and more all thrive on an alarming scale through this Telegram app. So kids should not have the Telegram app. Um, and then we've got, um, the Watchlist. Obviously Snapchat's on there, um, where a child's life can change forever in a snap. Content on Snapchat may be fleeting, but the impact of sextortion grooming and child sexual abuse can last a lifetime. This app is dangerous by it's very design. Um, and they'll, there's some stuff out there that the creators of Snapchat truly knew they were creating it for the bad reasons that it's being used for, which is really, really sad. Um, okay, I think that's all the things I wanted to share. My sc or no, hold on, let me do this real quick and then I'll unshare and we will get some questions. ::Slide - Internet Crimes Against Children - Common Apps:: Okay, so some, actually no, my bad. I'm going to Do, I have it here, Downloaded it. Um, I sent this out last time. I said please move this window away. Okay, I sent this out last time, but I can send it again. Um, but this is just some links that I found that really give a lot of good information, but I never got to really go over some of these specific apps. 'cause I think a lot of people usually have questions about apps. So these are the ones to kind of look out for, um, that are being used a lot, but have some potential dangerous features. So Messenger, um, Kick, WhatsApp, Snapchat, Instagram, Facebook, Discord, and BeReal. Um, I think they all can be safe, but they can all have a a dangerous side to it. Um, any live streaming apps can be risky. So Instagram has a live streaming. TikTok does Meet Me, You Now, Live Me, House Party, Twitch, YouTube, Facebook, and Twitter. Um, so anytime there's able to be live streaming, that just needs to be more monitored by parents. Um, making friends apps are Meet Me, Yellow or Ubo, Tinder, Grindr, LnK, Hoop, Spotafriend, Wink, Monkey and Wave. Um, believe it or not, I've, when I go into schools, I've had, um, as young as fifth graders ask me about Tinder. So it's terrible. Um, some apps to look out for, 'cause these are riskier, these anonymous apps. So Whisper, Yik Yak, Curious Cat, I think Yik Yak's Gone Now. A couple of these might've actually already been taken down because of so much, um, bad things happening on them and they finally deleted them from the App store. Um, so some features you guys need to look out for when your kids are wanting you to be okay with downloading an app is, um, is there any disappearing features in that? Okay, so obviously Snapchat has a disappearing feature. Um, is it a vault? Does it have some my eyes only on it? Or something to where they can keep things more secret on the app? Are there secret conversations that are able to be had, you know, I think is it Instagram and Facebook now that have secret conversations? Um, if they have the ability to delete and remove messages, um, without parental, um, consent, that could be dangerous because they could be doing things on the app but then deleting them and you guys not know what's happening. Um, and then if they're location based, so I tell all kids that as you download an app, if it asks you, can we track your location, we should almost always say, don't allow. The only times that really matter are Live 360. If you guys, I'm sure you know what that is, but it's a a GPS monitoring app, um, to be able to see where your kids are with their phone, um, Live 360 or some other parental monitoring things. But other than that, there really isn't an app I can think of. You know, obviously besides GPS and stuff like that, but there really isn't other apps that need to be tracking kids' locations because again, what we see is we see hackers, predators all alike, being able to then see kids locations because they're sharing them on those platforms. They're, they know how to get in the backside of 'em and it's just a sketchy situation. Um, all of these websites are on there. I'm not gonna go through all of those. I do want to, um, bring your attention to, I think I talked about it last time, but, um, I Common Sense Media. I love this site for basically, um, ratings and reviews. ::Website - Common Sense Media:: So you can type in a movie. Um, well let's just, let's just click on, they've got Outer Banks here. So they give this whole parent guide, they tell you what they suggest the age, they say what Common Sense says. They say what parents say and they say what kids say. Um, they quick parents, what parents need to know. I mean, they, they give you, they give it all, hold on, let me get this little guy outta here. Outta here. Harry Potter. Okay. Um, you know, they tell you what kind of language is in there, all sorts of stuff. Um, it's super helpful to the point, like they give, see the, give these little, um, what am I saying? Uh, ratings on the language. Um, drinking. Yeah. Yes. Do you have a question? Oh, nope. Um, so Common Sense Media, if you don't know about something, because I don't know if anybody else feels this way, I feel this way that like, I can't even trust PG 13 anymore. I don't know that PG 13 is my idea of PG 13 like it used to be. So I love going to Common Sense Media and checking out, okay, what is, what does this really look like? And it saves you time so you don't have to watch it yourself, obviously. I think that's a great idea if you have time to watch it before you let kids watch things. But, um, man, this day and age, we've got a lot going on. ::Attendees visible:: Um, okay, so I'm gonna stop sharing. I gave lots of things, um, trying to think, couple more things and then I want us to talk out some things that you guys have done. Um, I just wanna hear more, um, more from you guys and be able to answer any questions. So I wrote some other things down. Um, let's see, make sure I said all these things. Um, yeah, we should always be checking the age descriptions, ratings and reviews, um, in-app purchases, iCloud, check on expert reviews when you're looking at stuff. Um, there are some s safari restrictions you can put in place, in app restrictions. So once you get an app, you can go in the app and put even more restrictions in it. Um, let's see, a couple of just facts is 82% of predators use different social media sites to get info about their victims. So teaching kids that if you're friends with somebody online on this platform and this platform and this platform, um, if they are a predator, they're doing that because they're trying to gain more and more information about you. 'cause I think everybody's profiles could look a little different depending on the app that they're in. And so teaching kids that like, hey, the more you put out there about yourself, the potentially the more risk you're putting yourself at because now they're learning way more about you to try to gain that trust. Um, and then, let's see. There has been a story about a nine-year-old on Leapfrog that was, uh, sexually coerced. So LeapFrog, like seriously, it's nuts had some kids ask me at a school the other day if, uh, ABC Mouse was safe. And I was like, to be honest, I would hope so, but I cannot say it because I haven't like hardcore looked through it. But if, if these apps don't connect to, um, maybe either the internet or a way for other people to chat with them or another way for people to get in their games, those are more safe obviously. So if it's just them playing by themselves, those are more safe apps and games. Um, it's when we get the internet involved, when we get other people, you know, playing with other kids and things like that, which that is what gaming is unfortunately nowadays, right? It is gaming with people you don't know in real life and the kids do it and it's hard. Um, I think if you can make a hard fast line of only game with people, you know, would love it. But I also know that's very hard. So can we teach our kids how to not share personal information, right? How to turn your, we're turning mics off 'cause we can't control what other people are saying in our, in our ears. And that is not good for kids. Um, just they're, they can do some things and you guys can do th some things where they can still play with people they've never met but in a safe way. Um, and giving them the um, the power and giving them another word I'm thinking of to where they feel like they can keep themselves safe. So when I've talked to kids in schools, I sometimes I get this scared look, you know, like I talked to third graders last week and I had this little girl and she was like, she kind of like started to like choke up a little and I was like, we don't need to be scared because you guys can do something about it. I'm telling you like those things that are a little sketchy, but it doesn't mean like that. You're just unsafe. And so I go back to what can you guys do to keep yourself safe? And that's when we talk about don't share personal information. We don't, um, we don't obviously yeah, give out our phone numbers, things like that. We don't, um, we deny friend and follow requests from people we don't know in real life. We keep all of our things on private. Um, I'm having a lot more conversations like that. Kids do not like their stuff on private 'cause they want to go viral, right? They want their things on public so they can get as many views. I hear kids tell me every single day, and then a couple things I say to them is, imagine the creepiest person you can imagine and imagine them looking at that picture or that video of you over and over and over and over. You know what I mean? Like, and I usually get kids go, Ooh. And I say, well that's what's happening. If it's on public, anyone can see it. And they're like, I don't think I've ever thought of it that way. Which to me is mind blowing 'cause that's where I go. But this isn't formed for them, right? So we as parents have to be helping them like realize like, hey, this is actually what it looks like when everything's on public. Um, and couple more things and I'll answer questions. So, um, we need to be having like these shame-free kind of conversations with our kids even at young ages. So, um, there's a book called, uh, Good Pictures, Bad Pictures. I think I said it last time, I wish I remembered to bring it in and I could show you what it looks like. But it's on Amazon and there's two different versions. There's a younger kid version and then a little bit of a older kid version. A great book to go through teaching kids basically in a way, in a way about porn and about the um, you know, the dangers of pornography and what that does to your mental health and all those things. But it, um, but in a more obviously kid friendly way. So teaching kids super young about good pictures, bad pictures, but also telling our kids, if anything ever happens online, you come and tell me, you know? And we have to get used to guys, I tell kids this, we have to get used to, when they come and tell us something happened online, we have to get used to not going, oh my gosh, I can't believe this happened because kids are telling me they don't wanna tell their parents. For one, they're afraid they're gonna get grounded. Okay, I understand. And two, they don't want their parents to be disappointed in them. But if as parents, if we can look at it from a different view, not all the time, but sometimes I think our view can be these predators are trying to connect with our kids, not necessarily our kids trying to do bad things online. Like I said, there are some kids that are risky. Even when I talk in schools, I have some kids, I say, you guys wanna be safe online, right? And I have kids go, no, I like being risky and I think they're trying to mess with me. But either way, for the most part, kids wanna be safe. So if we can come at them as Oh my gosh, I'm sorry this happened to you. Like nobody should ask you to do those things. Nobody should try to share that information with you. We come at 'em with that instead of like, what did you do? Why were you on that site? You know, because they get tricked into it. Y'all again, we think, come on, don't click the link. But they don't think that way. Okay? Or it's becoming easier. So like a free game on, on a phone, okay? They have ads that pop up, right? And it can be a, it can be a game for kids. It's happened to my son Ryan's World, Little Jump and Slide game. Okay? He was on there, an ad popped up 'cause it's a free game and the ad was a half dressed avatar that was like, come and play with me. And all you had to do was click that and then it took him somewhere else. And that's how easy it is, you know? And I tell kids, you're curious, like that happens, but we don't need to be clicking on those things. We need to turn our head and look away. Press the X button, go tell mom and dad. So start talking to your kids about telling you everything. And getting used to having those conversations and not going straight to grounding, they're in trouble. But I will tell you to make everybody happy, I do tell, um, kids in schools, I say, if you still get grounded, that's on your, that that is your parents trying to keep you safe. I said the most, sometimes as parents, we don't know what else to do besides take the thing away even if we know it wasn't your fault, right? So give yourselves, give your parents a little bit of grace in knowing that they're just trying to keep you safe, but your safety is more important than you being grounded. So please still tell. So anyway, um, practice some 'what if' scenarios with your kids, you know, what if this happens, how would you react to this online practice? Some of those with them. So then they are already having ideas of how they're gonna react. Okay. Um, and then the last one is, can your kids recognize like harassment versus love bombing? I don't, I'm sure everybody heard of it, but love bombing is like when you become friends with somebody online and then they're just like, they're just constant, you know? And then it turns into this isolation, it turns into why aren't you writing me back? You know, I love you, all these things. And it gets kids to feel really uncomfortable, but they can, but they, at the same time, they enjoy all the attention. So teaching our kids about and how that could be harmful, um, and that nobody should ever make them feel uncomfortable or make them feel like they have to get back to them 24/7. That's not, that's not a safe relationship. So I know there's some questions hopping in. Um, let's see. "Did you mention you have a curriculum that you teach children?" Yeah, so I do go into schools. Um, and I, it's completely free. So I have, it's third through 12th, but it's three different curriculums. So it's like a third through fifth, sixth through eighth and a ninth through 12th. Um, and it's a completely free curriculum. The younger kids, it's like a 30 to 40 minute presentation. The older kids, it's like basically a class period. So depending on the school, if it's a 50, 55 minute period, um, that's how long i, I take up. I can do, um, I can also do, what are those called? Assemblies. Those aren't my favorite because that's a lot of kids trying to listen and you know, they have a hard time. So I like going school to school class to class. Um, and I've been in a lot of the Moore Public Schools this year. Um, I'm trying to get into Norman, so if anybody has any, you know, more ways that I can get in touch with some of the Norman Public Schools, I'd, I'd love to do it. Um, and it's also, um, adjustable. So just because my curriculum says third through fifth grade, um, if, and even then I'll just tell you like I do something a little different between third and fourth graders and fifth and sixth graders. There's just a little tweaks here and there. Um, but say, um, a school doesn't want me, like once we get to middle school, I say the word sextortion, say they don't want me to say sextortion. I don't say sextortion, I say inappropriate pictures. And I, you know what I mean, I can change my language. Um, so it's definitely fluid. So whoever, if you guys are, you know, recommending me to people, please let them know. Like if I send them the presentation and they like, are like automatically like, oh my gosh, there's too much here. Um, we can talk it out. You know, because what's important is kids having even a little bit of information, even if I have to change my wording to get into the school. Hopefully that makes sense. Um, let's see. Yes, I can share my contact info. Um, awesome Tiffany, I'm excited. Um, let's see. Any other questions? Or does anybody, were you on here last time and you wanna tell me maybe some conversations you had with your kids or ask me someone? [Sierra McClendon] I would, I think it would be helpful for maybe if you could give us some tips and tricks of how to have some of those uncomfortable conversations with our kids. Um, a lot of the apps that you talked about today or websites, I think many are ones that our kids use or are wanting to use or maybe are being inquired by a lot of our parents to use. So if you could give us some tips and tricks of maybe some things that we can say to our kids to kind of start this conversation, um, uh, and kind of get the ball rolling with that. [Ronni Roney] Absolutely. Um, I definitely would. My first question, and I'm gonna pull up my, my PowerPoint if you're cool with that because I think I wasn't able to go through it as in depth, um, share. Okay, so where was it? It was up here. Um. ::Slide - Parents Should Ask Kids:: So something kind of like this. When a kid's wanting an app, you know, in what ways do you see yourself using this app? So I have using phones for good 'cause this is just like a general phone conversation if a kid's wanting a phone. Um, but we can change this to, to apps, you know, what do you wanna do about this app? What do you like about this app? You know, um, tell me who all's using it. You know, just things like that. Um, do you see that? Uh, and then try to, instead of you giving all the dangerous things about it, ask them what are some, do you see anything dangerous about this app that maybe we should be worried about? And let them come up with the dangerous things, right? Because they're so tired of hearing us say, oh my gosh, gosh, everything's dangerous. And it's like, kid, it is. But if they come up with it, I've seen kids like have so many more aha moments of like, oh, you know, and really talking with their kids about, um. Something I've been talking to elementary school kids 'cause I think middle school and high school understand this, but elementary school kids don't realize that predators online look like them, you know? So I, I asked them that last week, a couple of classes. I said, what does an online predator look like? And these kids are hilarious. They wear all black, they have a mask on, um, 70-year-old bald man. You know, like they just say all these things. And I said, do you know online predators can look like you? And they all were like, what? And so I explained to them that an online predator, 'cause they know better than to talk to. Unfortunately a 70-year-old bald man, sorry if you're a 70-year-old bald man on here. I'm not saying you're all bad, but I'm just saying like, to them that's an automatic, like they would be creeped out possibly by that, right? But another kid that looks just like them trying to talk to them online, no big deal. And these kids literally had no idea that predators can make whole fake accounts pretending to look like kids. So teaching our kids that, um, because that's, that's how they're tricking them. The, I did not realize, I guess I just kind of thought that they would know this. I don't know why I, I just thought they would, but they didn't. I had one third grade class, I'm not kidding y'all. They all came up and gave me hugs afterwards and said, I had no idea about any of this, Ms. Ronni, I'm gonna keep myself safe. Or I have two friends on that I've never met in real life and now I just think maybe I should delete them and not be their friends anymore, just in case. I'm like, that's a great idea. So yeah, putting it back in their court. What do you, what do you see is good for, you know, this app? What do you like about it? How will you use it? In what ways do you think you'll be challenged by using this app? And then asking them what are some, you know, what do you think are some either, I don't know if you wanna use the word controls, but what are some safety measures we can put in place, you know, um, when you're, when you're using these apps? Um, you know, another thing I've heard, um, some kids and parents make like a, a code emoji or a code word. And so if they text you this code emoji that you've already talked about ahead of time, that means like they're needing to talk to you about something and it kind of gets parents prepared. And I've heard a lot of kids say that that has like, made things so much easier, kind of breaks the ice going to their parent. And I think it helps parents. I, I tell kids, us trusted adults, we need a warning sign sometimes. Like, we need a warning, warning, I'm coming to talk to you so we can be more cool, calm and collected. So, um, I definitely recommend parents having that open communication of do you wanna send me an emoji? And then that to me tells me we need to talk about something. Or do you wanna say a word that to me? Um, and then this goes on into other random things that I've done with my own kids is, um, say back in the day, I have older kids and an 8-year-old, but back in the day, my daughter would come to me and we had a, um, this was like a thing between us. She would come to me and she would say, Hey, can I go stay the night at, um, Susie's house? And if she asked, "Can I go stay the night at Susie's house?" That means she's wanting to go stay the night. Okay. If she came and asked me and said, "Hey, Susie's wants me to stay the night, can I?" to me, that was our code. That meant she actually didn't want to stay the night. But she didn't wanna tell Susie she didn't wanna stay the night. Did I know why she was uncomfortable? No. Was I gonna have that conversation later? Absolutely. Could they have just been dramatic and she just didn't wanna be around Suzie anymore? Possibly. But could that have been, she had, had felt uncomfortable at that kid's house at some point and she doesn't wanna make Susie upset, but she doesn't want to. You know what I mean? How that goes. So that's just another random tip is um, especially because kids, even though we tell them not to ask us in front of our friends, am I right? And they still ask us in front of their friends, um, that could be also be a easy way. Um, because as soon as she asked it that way, I was like, "You know, I think we've got a lot going on. You know, Susie, I'm so sorry. Um, maybe we can do it another time, but I think we've got some things that we've gotta be doing today. Um, you know, I really appreciate you asking" and Susie's like, "Yeah, thank you. I appreciate that." So, and then I kept my daughter from having to, you know, be weirded out by it. ::Slide - Phone Fundamentals - The Big Ten Parameters:: Um, I think I went over these last time, but really just starting heavy with the, you don't own the phone, password passwords are not secret and we can, you can go backwards y'all, if you guys have, unfortunately, uh, I don't wanna say unfortunately, we don't know what we don't know. So if you guys have put some things not in place, you can take those things back and say, I've learned a little bit more and this is what I wanna do to keep you safe. Um, was that helpful, Sierra? Am I answering that question? ::Attendees visible:: [Sierra McClendon] Yeah, no, I think that was very helpful just to kind of give some, some tangible tips and tricks. 'cause I know sometimes when, when you get all of the information and then it's like this websiteand this app and I'm just thinking of, uh, all of the apps, you know, on my personal phone and, and different things that are all on these Dirty Dozens and different things. Yeah, yeah. Um, just for, you know, my own self to be kind of aware of and to think, to have a conversation kind of about all of those. I think this was helpful just to kind of start that, um, as well. Thank you. Yeah, absolutely. Anything else? [Ronni Roney] Anybody wanna share something? I mean, even if it's something your kid's done and you've been like, I can't believe they did this. Because that's also unfortunately how we learn, right? Is if, um, our kids find a way around something, so then we now need to know how for them not to do that or to teach other parents about it. And I know somebody asked if I go to Tulsa and I do, um, I can so definitely reach out to me. I think I'll just, in case I'll put all my information in here. [Sierra McClendon] Are there any other questions for Ronni or for the group? Um, anything as we are kind of wrapping up both of our sessions today. It looks like Ronni has put her information into the chat for contact. Um, if you'd like to email her, she does provide, um, this information and so we'll upload the materials into the resource drive as well, just like we did last time. So you'll have access to kind of those flyers, graphics, those sorts of things that she went over as well. [Ronni Roney] Oh, I would like to and, I don't know why I've said this, but uh, haven't said this. Um, if you, your kids come in contact with somebody had, you know, convinced them to send an inappropriate picture or, you know, something like that, or they feel, um, you know, unsafe online. I tell kids report and block, those are huge. Okay. When you block that just blocks that person from connecting with you online. Um, it doesn't alert that app company anything until you actually report. So kids and families need to be reporting also. So then that sends that, that to the company. But then from there, the company do, they do have to investigate, but we see a lot of times things don't go very far or people get banned for a day or two and they're back on there potentially harassing and harassing and trying to chat with kids. So, um, the cyber tip line, which i, I will include again, um, I'll just resend probably the same things, but the cyber tip line is another way to report. And those reports go straight to National Center for Missing and Exploited Children and then those then get dumped down to the OSBI and then local law enforcement after that. So, um, in order to get some of these, you know, predators, uh, what am I trying to say? What, what am I trying to say? [Sierra McClendon] Stopping them. [Ronni Roney] Stopping them, yeah. Getting them arrested and all the things. Is it, it usually the cyber tip line is a really great place for it to be reported just because, I'm sorry, I don't have a lot of faith in our, in our app companies much, but cyber tip line will, will escalate them if they're, you know, at a certain point of where a kid's potentially like currently getting, you know, harassed or, um, sexsorted or something like that. And from there they can do a lot more. Um, when it comes to the law enforcement side of things and if your kids receive pictures, so talking to your kids about sometimes you're gonna receive something that you never asked for, unfortunately that happens. Um, if that happens, come and tell me as, you know, you're the adult come and tell me and then you guys report it through the app company cyber tip line. Um, and don't, I know this sounds like totally off, but don't delete it until hopefully somebody connects with you. Um, because then they're gonna want to like preserve that evidence. Okay. Um, but I will say once something, if, especially if it's a minor, right? A kid, um, a minor, um, child sexual abuse material, um, the police, when they take the phones, they will, um, basically download the phone, dump the phone, Kay, and take that stuff, but they then have to factory reset it to give it back, which really sucks for kids because that's, everything's gone, right? Um, so I say that to you guys just as a fair warning, but I don't ever wanna say that to make it be like, well if I'm gonna have to factory reset my phone, then I'm just not gonna tell anybody about it. I don't want that, but I, it's such a balancing act, if that makes sense. Hopefully you guys can feel good about making a decision about that, but you don't want child porn on your phone, so that's not legal. Okay. Sorry for talking a million miles a minute. Hopefully this was helpful. Um, I am so thankful that I got this time. It was so cool to be able to do two sessions y'all. Um, because there's just a lot. And so if you guys got to see my last one, I am so thankful if you didn't, I think it is also recorded in somewhere where you guys can find it. I can't remember where. Um, but this one will be recorded. You can share and then please, yeah, reach out to me. I wanna come to schools, churches, um, Girl Scouts, Boy Scouts, like you name it. If there's kids that need to hear this or parents that need to hear this, I wanna come and and give them this information for sure. Any even other professionals. [Crystal Money] Um, I do have a question. So yeah, is there, like, I know that kids are probably not wanting their phone to be factory reset. Could you back it up before giving it to the police or would that also like, they would want you to get rid of what you backed up [Ronni Roney] That that will then you've backed up, uh, child pornography, unfortunately. Right. [Crystal Money] Okay. Well, yeah. [Ronni Roney] I know. Ooh, it's, it's not, it's not cool. Um, so maybe make sure that our kids are, you know, backing their phones up. I don't know, often. I don't know. So then when it, if this does happen that the last backup wasn't too long ago, so they're not losing too many things. So anything else? [Sierra McClendon] It doesn't look like it. Thank you so much Ronni, for doing this two session series with us. I think it has been very informational and helpful. As you said, they are both gonna be recorded and uploaded to our YouTube channel, uploaded to the OKFosters page, all of that for some reference. The evaluation link has been put into the chat. Please feel free to, um, fill that out. Please fill that out if you are needing CEUs or foster care credits and if you have any questions, you are welcome to reach out and I appreciate all of you being here today and thank you so much Ronni, for doing two sessions with us and giving us two lunchtimes. It has been greatly appreciated. [Ronni Roney] You bet. Thank you guys so much. You guys have been wonderful and hope to talk to some of you guys soon. [Sierra McClendon] Yes, thank you so much. Have a great rest of your afternoon everyone. [Ronni Roney] Bye.