::Attendees visible:: [Caitlynn Land] Hi everyone. I wanna welcome everyone today to our Lunch and Learn. This Lunch and Learn is being brought to you by a collaboration between Oklahoma Human Services, University of Oklahoma Anne and Henry Zarrow School of Social Work, and the Oklahoma Adoption Competency Network. We appreciate everyone joining during your lunch or noon hour. We wanna get started so we can make sure to respect everyone's time and the great information being discussed today. First, we're gonna go over a couple of housekeeping things just for our time together this afternoon. One, we are recording this meeting. By participating, you are giving your consent to be recorded. Um, we also wanna help reduce distractions so we can all focus and participate. We have muted everyone to make it possible for everyone to hear the speakers. We want you to express your thoughts and questions. So please utilize the chat for this purpose. We will monitor that chat and questions will be touched upon during the Q&A during the time, during the last 15 minutes of the webinar. We also want to see you, so if you are willing and you can, please go ahead and turn on your video if you are unable, that is fine also. To receive information about other post-adoption events, please list your name and email on the chat and we'll make sure to add you to our contact list. Um, remember confidentiality, it is vital that we protect confidential information, so we will not share specifics, names, details, et cetera about adoption cases, people or children. Um, and then CEUs are now available for professionals for this training. So, foster parents attending this training will also receive a one hour of training credit towards the 12 hours of in-service training that you need each year. Please indicate in the chat if you would like to claim the CEU by posting your name and email. We will send you a certificate of attendance and participation. Other than that, I'm gonna hand everything over to Bonni, who's our host today. [Bonni Goodwin] Thank you, Caitlynn. Hello everyone. Uh, hello John, I see you. Your hello in the chat. It's good to see you. Um, welcome. I'm super excited to be able to join you guys today. We are gonna talk about the importance of adoptee connections, and we've got a few little side conversations that I'm excited to have, um, about this topic as well. So, just to introduce myself, I am, um, uh, assistant professor at the University of Oklahoma in the School of Social Work. But most of my time, and really my heart and my passion is focused on, uh, serving our state as the statewide coordinator of Adoption Preservation Services. So, um, a lot of my focus and my expertise is on adoption, post-adoption support, um, all the things that we're talking about today. So I want to welcome you. I see several of you droppin' your email in the chat. Thank you so much. I'd also love to know, you can either put it in the chat or you can unmute and, um, share with me how many, um, professional, uh, people who are here in the role of professional, um, you can even just raise your hand if you wouldn't mind letting me know. We've got professionals and parents and hopefully some adoptees on this call. So if you are a professional, could you just raise your hand or let me know? Okay, excellent. Excellent. Great. If you are an adoptive or foster parent, would you raise your hand now and let me know. Okay, excellent. And do we have any adoptees on this call? Okay, very good. So, what I'm hopeful that we can have a conversation about today is, um, first I'm gonna start with what, several of you, if you've, if you've been on any of these or you've ever had a conversation with me, you have most likely seen this slide and heard of the concept of adoption competency. Let me go ahead and put my PowerPoint slide up. ::Title Slide - The Importance of Adoptee Connections:: ::Slide - Domains of Adoption Competency - pie chart:: Adoption competency is really this concept, uh, of understanding so many areas. That's what this slide shows is, it's a pie chart and it shows 18 different, um, areas that need to be understood by professionals when they are working with and serving, uh, families, but also adoptees. A lot of our discussion is gonna turn more towards adoptees and adult adoptees today. Um, but you can see on this, on this slide, there's so many different pieces to that pie. It covers history, um, where we came from, the theoretical and philosophical framework, all the way up to cultural issues, openness, uh, race and ethnicity, um, different types of clinical issues, trauma, brain neurobiology, all these different things. It's complex. ::Slide - Domains of Adoption Competency - pie chart changes to a camera lens:: And so when we talk about adoption competency, what we, what I like to describe it as is a lens where you are developing this understanding, an in depth understanding of all of these domains and all of these angles. And it's all there when you're talking or learning or assessing, um, the work that you might be doing to serve, um, an adoptee or an adoptive family or, um, they, I've, I've, I've learned something new. We used to use the terminology "adoptive triad" where it's talking about adoption -- adoptee, about the adoptive parents and then also the biological family or the birth family, first family. There's several different terms that, that people use. Um, terminology's important though, right? Like, we've learned that in a lot of different areas, words have power, words have big meaning. So what I've learned is that triad is actually very limiting. So when we talk about all of the different people and roles that these 18 domains actually impact, now the terminology that is the most appropriate is the "adoption constellation." And when we, that includes those three that we mentioned, but it also includes siblings, biological siblings of adoptee, adoptees, um, extended family on both sides, on the adoptive family, the, the biological family, also all the professionals, caseworkers, foster parents. I mean, if you think about it, there's really a lot of people that are involved in the world of adoption and foster care. So adoption constellation, anyone who is serving someone who is a part of that constellation really needs to have a good understanding of all of these 18 domain areas and have this good lens. So that's really what we ground a lot of these Lunch and Learn webinars in is under-- is, is developing this competency. It's not just a matter of there are trainings. We have some really good trainings that are free and available to us in Oklahoma and actually nationwide. Um, if you're a professional and you haven't heard of those trainings and you're interested, I'm gonna have a slide at the end that has my email and also Sarah Antari, who is our adopt, uh, our post-adoption outreach supervisor on this call, reach out to us and let us know if you would like information on those trainings. Um, that will go through a really step-by-step process and help you unpack all of these 18 areas. But when I talk about what we're doing with these Lunch and Learn webinars and all the different, uh, things that we're doing in Oklahoma as this Oklahoma Adoption Competent Network is really digging in, um, talking, discussing, learning, processing, um, consulting with each other on these things and how they relate to those that we are serving, or those who have lived experience in our network and in our community. It's both. And so, I know several, at least I saw at least one person who said they are a professional and an adoptive parent or foster parent. And I know that we've had several participants who have joined our webinars, um, that, that hold two of those hats at least. Um, I also know several people out there who are all, uh, three adoptee, adoptive parent, and a professional, um, holding all of those different hats. We need your thoughts, we need your input. We need, the, the goal here is to really build a support and a cons, um, consulting environment where we're able to discuss these things, go in depth about these things, and even wrestle with them a little bit because they're complex. Um, it's challenging. Okay, so there's your foundation about adoption competency. ::Slide - The Importance of Support:: What we're going to really talk about today is support. And I'm gonna give a little introduction about the importance of support, why it's so important for us, and why it is one of the most important things that kids, youth, families all say that they need -- top need after, after adoption. So we're gonna talk about that. We're gonna talk about what are some of the benefits and why. Um, but then we're also gonna shift more, go a little bit more in depth about adoptee support. So, like I said, this is one of the most important things. Um, how many of you, again, you can unmute, you can put it in chat, whatever you feel most comfortable with. How many of you, and I'm gonna start with just more of a really open-ended, not necessarily adoption-specific, but how many of you have been involved in any type of support system, support group, something like that? Okay, Ronda. Awesome. Anyone else? Anyone else been involved in any type of support system or group that's a little formal? Okay, Kelsey, excellent. Nice. Cori, you supported kiddos on your caseload back in permanency. Yeah, absolutely. As that professional, as that caseworker. Good. So let me ask this question. You see it on the screen, but I'm asking you more specifically about from your own experience. And if you haven't been in, in any type of formal support setting, think about your own support network. So when I say that, I mean friends and family, we call it the informal, um, the relationships that you have on a day-to-day basis. What do those people, what does that kind of support provide for you that you don't get in other types of formal support, like counseling, um, things like that. What does your informal and those who have lived experience next to you, what does that give to you that you don't get elsewhere? You can put it in chat. You can unmute. [Kristin Foote] I would, I would just say that, uh, like infor, it's informal. It's, and it's personalized, so it's not necessarily structured. It can happen whenever, you know, we don't call our therapists at midnight or, you know, and, [Bonni laughs] and some, and some formal support groups, depending what they are, You can, I mean, you can have a list of people that, you know, you can call at any time, but those supports more informal [Kristin] and you don't have to pay for it too, right? [Bonni] Right! [Kristin] Most, most likely. [Bonni] Most likely. Yeah. Really significant piece that sometimes we just gloss over. It's, it's there, it's available, it's free at all hours. It's something that is, um, it, it's there because of you. It's not necessarily because you are seeking and trying, you know, seeking a service. You are seeking relationship and there's, there's a, a give and a take there and there's a relationship there. It's a different kind of connection. Right. Good. Thank you, Kristin. Anything else? Anything that this type of informal, friends, family support network provide for you that you don't get in other types of services? [John Bracken] Yeah, Bonnie, this is John. It, it gives me a sense that I belong and that I matter and that, that, because I'm here, it makes a difference. [Bonni] So well put John, yes, I matter. I am seen, I am felt, I'm experienced, and I have something to give that, that what I have to give matters and that I can, it's, it's a more reciprocal, yeah, so important. So good. [reading] Cori, I feel I -- [Sarah Antari] Also, oh, sorry. [Bonni] No, go ahead. [Sarah] I also think that, um, you, you don't feel judged and you're more able to be open with how you're actually feeling and thinking, um, without questioning whether or not it's right or wrong. [Bonni] Yeah, yeah. It's, it's free. You feel less possibility of judgment, um, not always, but hopefully, definitely more so than whenever you're going to professionals for support. Um, yeah, I think that's good. There's so many different aspects and, and overall it's a relationship. It's connective. It's the, the stuff that makes us human. Um, I see in the chat as well, Cori said, "I feel, um, parents and children who are about to be adopted felt a little more comfortable asking questions and discussing challenges because of history, connection, relationship." Yes. Relationship really, really matters. Do you know me? Do you see me? Do you understand? And that's a, uh, going in a, step into the specific adoptive support. So like support groups that are formed around specific experiences of adoption. There are some support groups that I know of that are just open to all members of the constellation to come in and have a conversation about the experience of adoption. But I think our support groups that are able to provide the environment where it's specific, this is an adoptee. This is an adolescent adoptee, uh, support group. This is an adoptive parent support group. You're able to go in a little bit deeper, right? And what really, what, what becomes the beauty and the power of those support group experiences is when those relationships are made. When you come to the next support group meeting and you're known, your story is known, your children's names are known, right? Like, um, sharing your story is an important part of it. Um, but being known and having that relationship with everyone else at that group and having shared experience, everybody's different. Everybody has different aspects that they feel and experience in a different way. Um, but overall, and many times when you, when you hear, uh, when I have heard several adoptees talk about the opportunities that they've had to be in connection with other adoptees, it normalizes and validates some of those feelings that maybe the rest of the world doesn't quite understand and doesn't, um, know where they come from or have too many, um, immediate reactions. Uh, kind of like I think about those, the support groups that are centered around grief. Um, when you think about someone who has lost someone's incredibly important to them, far too often we hear people say, "I heard so many awful things." Um, they, "God needed another angel back in heaven." You know, all these reasons of why we try to explain away why this pain happened. Similar experience with our adoptees that so often they get the reactions that we hear with grief, because it is grief, it is centered around loss. Um, so people who don't understand what that loss feels like or don't have, um, strategies or ideas of how to process and sit with that loss, have a hard time being able to identify and connect and communicate in a way that helps the adoptee feel seen and heard and felt and understood. So when we can, when we can provide opportunities for our adoptees to have a sacred place where they're able to connect with each other on that shared experience and those shared feelings that might, again, are not gonna be exactly the same, but do have some similar patterns and reflections of each other, that's a powerful experience. So these last bullet points on this slide are from research that talks about the benefits of having good support network, um, includes, so we have evidence that shows it increases your levels of wellbeing. So overall sense of that I am okay. I can be at peace and safe in my environment, in my world. Better coping skills. So the ways that I cope whenever I don't feel okay. When you have a group of people who are all sharing what their coping is and how they've been coping, you learn different things. You reflect different ways to cope. You have people to do that with. And a lot of times that changes it to healthier coping strategies. And surprise -- longer, healthier life! That actually we are actually able to show in research that the more support you have, the longer you live. Because we know that our emotions are not disconnected from our physical being. And so when we are able to process and connect and have higher levels of wellbeing and less stress, this last one, reduce depression, anxiety, and stress. When we have a safe place and a good place full of relationship and connection to process those things and work through those things and find good coping skills, it increases our life, our ability to, to live in this world. ::Slide - Reasons to Find or Create a Support Group:: So, some reasons to either find or create a support group, um, these are kind of generalized as well for any type of support group. But what we were talking about, building connections, having relationships with other people, receiving that encouragement. Um, when people say something like, um, not the things that make you roll your eyes, like I was saying, kind of those pat answers, but the things that are real of, I'm so proud of you, you were brave to come today. Thank you for sharing your story with me. It meant a lot to me. That kind of affirmation and encouragement and validation is really a, an incredible, incredibly strong reason to find or even create a support group. And again, as we were mentioning earlier, the opportunity to support others. So you are receiving and you're there in the midst of, and you're feeling the impact of this environment and this relationship and, uh, relationships. But you're also able to reciprocate. You are, you are able to speak into other people, and that actually is a big part of the human process of healing. When you are able to take your experience, process it, understand it, and then, um, share it in ways that are appropriate and helpful to you and the other people around you, is really a part of your own healing. And then this really cool one of seeing things from a different perspective. So again, not everybody has exactly the same experience. We have similar patterns. Whenever we have similar life, lived experience, um, it really helps to know that my anger and my grief is something that other, a lot of other people struggle with and feel in their grief. My anxiety, it's not just sadness, but I feel anxious to hear other people say that they deal more with anxiety than sadness can make you feel not crazy, can make you feel not unusual, um, that, that you aren't experiencing something that is completely out of the norm. But the beautiful thing too is to, again, have that opportunity to hear the different perspectives of everyone else. That's one of the really cool things about an open constellation support group is we've got, um, adoptive parents who are able to listen to the lived experience of the adoptees in the group. What did it feel like to grow up as an adoptee? What does it mean for me to feel some type of, uh, frustration or pushback on my adoptive parent? What do I need and how to work through that can be a really beneficial, um, just support and information for the adoptive parents in the group. And then also if you have professional, uh, support people in that group, helping them understand and hear and learn from the perspective of those who have lived experience is really critical, which we'll dig into that a little more in a minute. And then the last one is, of course, building a community or a network. So you have the support, but then you're also constantly building on that. You know that there are more people out there who are, um, interested and willing to connect. One of the most beautiful things that I've heard from a young adult that I've worked with in the past, uh, when they started connecting with support was, "One "of my biggest takeaways was that I learned" "that people are actually really good. I learned that, um, people most of the time wanna help me." And that was new, that was new for this young lady, that instead of it being something where the world felt safe and the world felt full of helpers, she had lived a life where the world was scary and the world was full of people who are going to take from you or exploit you. So finding a safe community of people who were there for the purpose of supporting others and being supported by each other increased her capacity to see that the world was safe and there were good people out there. Anything I'm missing? Is there any other thing that you would add to the list of reasons to find or create a support group? ::Slide - Centering the Adoptee:: Okay, so I'm gonna shift, I'm gonna go on a little tiny bit of a tangent here, and we're gonna talk a little bit about centering the adoptee. Out of all the constellation, all the people involved in the constellation that I just mentioned, we're gonna focus in on the adoptee specifically, because the focus historically in understanding the adoption experience, we've gotten a lot of our information, a lot of our research is based off of adoptive parents and agencies. So what do our professionals understand about the adoptive experience? What do our parents understand about the adoptive experience? The reason why makes sense, because our adoptive parents were seeking to support them and strengthen that adoptive home to be able to help that be a really solid, stable, strong, uh, empowering experience for the family and for those adoptees. But what we historically have not been as good at doing is then going to the adoptee and saying, "Hey, tell us more about your experience. What did you feel? What did you, um, what do you wish you had had? Or what did you, what support do you wish you had had at that time?" And really, the adoptee voice has only recently become more of a, uh, an uplifted and focused voice in understanding this overall experience. One of the really cool opportunities that I have worldwide, uh, group of people for a couple weeks about a year ago. And it was all adoption researchers, and we were just talking about current trends, sharing our, our research studies, what we're interested in, just having this really cool, it was really support, it was a support group of what we were doing. And I was incredibly overwhelmed and in really good way of the number of researchers who are adoptees themselves, that has increased significantly. So the cool thing that I'm telling you right now is that a lot of the adoption research that's coming out that we've learned over the last five to 10 years is from that adoptee voice, from that lived experience, that place of understanding of what did it feel like to be the child who, uh, who had lost, um, my first family, who had maybe been separated from my siblings and, and had this journey of, uh, processing that grief and also attaching and loving the family that I was adopted into, and understanding who I am in that whole process. So overall, one of the things I hope you take away from, from our conversation today is that hearing the voice of adoptees is truly critical to understanding that lived experience. ::Slide - Quote from Cam Lee Small:: So this slide shares a quote from, uh, Cam Lee Small, who is a, a licensed, um, behavioral specialist, and also a Korean adoptee. I will share a little bit more from Cam in a minute, but I love this quote where he says, "Please look to adoptees to learn about adoptees. Please regard adoptees as primary sources when referencing adoptee-related needs, perspectives, research and interventions." So this quote really sums up this movement that we've had in the adoption world of, "We have experience to share and we need to share our experience. We have a lot to give, we have a lot to share, and you can learn from us." ::Screenshot - Adoption Awareness:: So here is, this is just a screenshot I'm gonna put into the chat here in just a second, a handout that's gonna give a lot, uh, all this information. But this is a post that Cam made, uh, 61 weeks ago. So what is that? About a year ago, a little over a year ago, "Here are 80 adoptees who are raising awareness about the adoptee journey. And in doing so, connecting adoptees to life-giving experience of feeling seen, joined, and empowered." So that really sums up what we're talking about of the power of adoptees being connected to each other and having the support of each other to be able to share, uh, what their experience is like. So this, these are all, uh, social media handles. This is an Instagram post. Um, and there's 80 on here, but that's not even all of them. This one I can tell you, @adopteeson, is, um, a led by an adoptee. And it is actually a podcast. Most of these have podcasts. You can see, @adapted_podcast. Most of them have podcast, uh, recordings that you can go through and listen to and hear all different types of experiences. And, um, "Adoptees On" is a series that's an adoptee who is the host, but she is every session, every podcast, every episode, she is interviewing another adoptee who has different experience from different, uh, different types of adoption, even. International adoption, domestic adoption, adoption from child welfare. Um, this adoptee mentorship. I'm also gonna share, in fact, let me go ahead and put into the chat this handout that has all of the, all 80 of them listed on it. Um, sorry, it's hard to do something and talk at the same time. There it is. And I'll stop sharing this ::Attendees visible:: and I'll show you what's on the handout. ::Handout - Cam Lee Small Instagram Post - https://www.instagram.com/p/CkgOMRbuP4E/?img_index=1 :: Here's all 80 of them, and this is the link to that Instagram post. So if you are on Instagram, you have something. Here's Cam Lee's, um, handle. And this is that link that goes to those 80 because there's a bunch of comments of other people who have not been on this original list, so you can get even more. But here's all 80 of the different adoptees who have been very vocal about their experience, @beautifullybrokenadoptee, um, @blackgirlwhitefamily. So there's a lot of different perspectives, and I strongly encourage you to spend some time digging in, reading, listening to some of the, the information that is being shared by these adoptee, uh, professionals or just humans, @thetransracialadopteetherapist. So there's some very specific out there. Um, down here, this, these are some links that I'm actually gonna share in a slide here in just a second. Uh, but just wanted you to know there is a second page to this handout. ::Attendees visible:: Okay? Yes, I see the question. [reading] "Will we also get the PowerPoint slides?" If you make sure, um, to, Sarah, can we, I don't remember who is keeping track of who is attending today. Um, but if you're interested in the PowerPoint slides, could you just put that in the chat? Is that okay, Sarah? And we can get that list and we can send out, um, the PowerPoint slides to you if you're interested. All right, going back to the PowerPoint. ::Slide - How to Value Adoptee Voices:: Um, so another, another handout that I'm gonna put in the chat here in a minute too is, is one that is written by Cam Lee Small, but it's how to value adoptee voices. So these are some more in-depth... um, listen, but then recognize that adoption always starts with loss. So when you are listening, when you are hearing, before you respond, before you speak, init-- take the moment to recognize that adoption always starts with loss. Why that is important is because of what I was just talking about earlier. It matters how you respond. Grief is complex, grief is confusing, and it's important to hold grief in a safe, sacred space for people. The second one, acknowledge that grief can be lifelong. It is not something that necess-- you, you hear, in fact, I just heard it yesterday again, time heals all wounds. And it's true that time can help things not be as acute. They can-- they're, they might not be as intense, but it's still there. Grief is never something that is just fully, um, gone, right? When, when we lose important relationships, especially the level of ambiguity and unrecognized grief that some of our adoptees experienced throughout their story, um, it's really hard to process those losses. It's hard to process the complexity of those losses and what they mean. So when you are listening to the adoptee voice, putting these things at the front of your heart, recognizing losses at the center, acknowledging that it is a lifelong experience, practice self-reflection and humility. What am I thinking? How am I responding to this information? What feelings do I have come up while I'm hearing this podcast of this adoptee sharing their story? Why, why am I feeling this way? What have I understood about adoption over my lifetime? There's a lot of adoption myths out there. You can just google that: "Adoption myths," and you'll get lists of things that people have identified as what people understand adoption to be that is not necessarily true. And if you think about it, it makes sense because adoption is a very strong theme. Orphans, orphanages, I just say those things and you probably have several musicals, children's stories, books that come up into your mind of how often is this covered in any type of story out there. So what have you picked up over your life that you believe and understand about adoption that might not be accurate, especially if you have not had lived experience in that. Number four, see adopted individuals as experts of their experience. This is one of those statements that when you hear it, you're like, "Well, duh, that makes sense," right? But when you process it and you listen to those, some of those adoptee podcasts, or if you're interested, and we're gonna start talking about this too, if you're interested in getting into the space of providing this space of connection and safe place for our adoptees, we have a lot of adopted individuals in Oklahoma, in the United States, adoption is a, is, is a part of a lot of people's lives. You might be surprised. And when we, if you're interested in thinking about actually being a person that provides a space for, especially if you're a professional on the call right now, if you're interested in providing some of these opportunities for support groups, for connections, things like that, it's really important to keep number four at the front of your mind as a professional. We have experience, we have training, we have some really great things to bring to the table, but it is really critical for this population, for adoptees. I'm telling you, it's really critical to put their voice before yours and to see their experience and live their, their lived experience and the sharing of their lived experience as expert, not yours. Um, if you are a professional who has lived experience as an adoptee or as an adoptive parent, that's really important to bring to the table as well. But then also to remember that the other people in that support group all need to have the sense that they're experts of their own experience. So how can you, what are some ways and some strategies to develop that feeling at the group of how can we support everybody knowing that they are the experts of their experience? And then the last one, ally with adoptees. Um, there's a lot that we could dig into here, and this could be a whole 'nother Lunch and Learn of talking about allyship. I know there's discussions and trainings and, um, lots of processing about allyship with all different types of populations out there. And really the heart and the goal of allyship is having the first four at the heart of who you are with everything that you do. So continuing to put them, elevate their voice above your own, practice self-reflection and humility on a regular basis. Um, that's good allyship. It's not, if you're a professional working, like I am, a professional working with the adopted population, then is it a job? Is it where I put that down whenever I go into my personal life? Or is it really important to me to maintain my allyship throughout the rest of my day, um, throughout the rest of my life as a personal, in my personal life as well as my professional? So let me, um, put in the chat again. This one that I'm gonna share with you now is a full PDF article that was written by Cam. Um, there it is in the chat, and it goes more in depth. It covers these five, these are from his voice, um, and he goes more in depth about each five, uh, five of those. So you have that available to you if you would like to go more in depth. ::Slide - Virtual Adoptee Connections:: Okay, so now I'm gonna take, it's 12:37. We're doing good. This slide is what's on the second page of that handout that has all of those, um, social media handles of adoptees. This one is virtual adoptee connections that you have access to right now. And these are, um, on a national basis, so you can virtually connect at any time. This first one that's on here is called the Adoptee Mentoring Society. Um, Angela Tucker is an adoptee who is the CEO and founder of this mentoring society. I am working with her, um, on several projects. And she's an amazing human who has incredible, um, just perspective, and she shares her story openly. She consults, she mentors other adoptees, and what she has been doing is building a, a network of other adoptees. She's training and supporting other adoptees as they then support more adoptees across the nation. So it's a beautiful mentoring, uh, uh, structure that's set up across the nation. So I invite you and I encourage you, um, whether you are a professional to look into this, adoptee mentor-- mentorship as something that you might be able to share with your families or adoptees that you're working with, adoptive parents as something that can come alongside, especially for our adolescent adoptees. Um, Angela does a fantastic job supporting our adolescent adoptees as they're really digging, digging in and struggling with the identity formation. Um, a lot of transracial pieces or understanding cultural, transcultural differences between the adoptee and the adoptive family. That's a hard process in the a-- in the adolescent years when our adoptees are trying to figure out who am I? So having a mentor who's gone through that experience who has, has, uh, processed a lot of their own identity formation, um, can be a really, really powerful tool for our adoptees. The second one on here, the Center for Adoption Support and Education (CASE). Um, they provide a lot of virtual adult adoptee and a few, uh, teen virtual support groups. You'll, if you go to their website, you'll see a lot of information on there. Um, if you look under family and support, they have a support groups link. That's where you'll find all of the different groups that are ongoing. Um, I know of at least two adult adoptee support groups that are currently going, and there was a teen group that happened over the holidays. Um, you'll see a lot of the support groups are specific to their location, which is in Virginia and Maryland. But, um, but most of the time they have a few options for a virtual national reach. Adoptees Connect. Um, I don't know as much about this organization, but I've heard a lot about how it's really great. Um, it's a, an agency that has a very structured process of just helping adoptees connect to each other. There's links. If you go to adopteesconnect.com, you'll see across the top a bunch of links that give you information of how to sign up for resources, connections, um, support for leaders who are interested in being new leaders of new connection groups. Um, what's the difference between a support group and a connection group? I think a lot of it has to do with the structure and the formality of it. A support group often has more of a either closed, so you've got a certain number of people, and then you close it. So those people can develop really in-depth relationships. Um, sometimes you have facilitators that are going through specific curriculum. Adoptee connection groups are really for the purpose of relationship. Um, let's get together and, you know, have a, a night at a restaurant where we just come together and we just talk and get to know each other. So it's a little less in-depth. Um, I, I think Adoptees Connect probably supports several different types of connection groups, but it's a great, great resource if, um, you are interested in being able to, to connect to somebody who can help guide you when you're wanting to, to start something like this, or find a connection group that might be nearby. Adoptee Therapist Directory. It's exactly what it says. It is this beautiful, uh, therapist in, I can't remember what state she's located in, but her, uh, practice is called Grow Beyond Words. And she has taken a lot of time nationally working to identify therapists who are adoptees, so that then when an adoptee, especially an adolescent, I keep saying that because it's a really, really critical time for our adoptees. Um, it can be a very powerful experience for our adoptees to, to talk to another adoptee, um, similar to the mentoring, but, but clinical. So a person who has their clinical license, who is an adoptee, who is able to go in depth about adoption, specific adoption competency, talk about identity formation, all of that stuff. So there is this, this link will take you to that national directory. Um, I don't think we have too many at this point in Oklahoma, but I know for sure that we have at least one. The next link is adoptee reading. So books written and recommended by adoptees. So adoptee reading has a whole list, and they've got it, uh, separated into different, uh, subjects and topics and specific types of areas. Um, so adoptee authors, and then some who are recommended by adoptees as they see really hitting home and connecting with the experience of what it means to be adopted. And then this last one, um, is a short list, but, um, it has a few podcasts by adoptees for adoptees. So again, all of these links are available on that second page of the handout, the first handout that I gave you in the chat. Okay. I'm gonna stop really quick, um, and stop sharing just to see how are we doing? ::Attendees visible:: Do we have any questions that have come up in the chat? Um, any thoughts so far? Excellent. Okay, so now I am going to turn this over to Sarah Antari, who is our supervisor on the call, and her team who are all here. And I just wanted to, um, open it for them to be able to talk more about Oklahoma, uh, opportunities for adoption, adoptee connections. Sarah. [Sarah] Thank you, Bonni. So, um, in Oklahoma we have created, um, a new unit called the Post Adoptions Outreach Unit. Um, and we have, we've been in place for about five months, so we're new, new, um, but we've noticed that adoptee connections have not really been a priority, um, and have identified that through talking with Dr. Goodwin and, um, adoptive families and adoptees, that that's something that's missing and that they want. Um, so we're in the process of making, um, events, holding, they're not really events. They're more connections. Um, we find a place in a community. Um, in December, we were at the art museum here in Norman, um, and we invited adoptive families with their children to come and just enjoy a day, um, getting to know each other, being able to ask questions if they had them in a very casual setting. Um, mostly just trying to build up a community of adoptees, adoptive families to surround each other and support each other. Um, so this is something that we're planning on doing, um, 10-ish times a year. Um, we're gonna rotate around the state, so we'll be in different places each time so people don't have to drive too terribly far. Um, just to, like Bonni was saying, um, when you're in a therapy setting, there's more pressure. There's, it's, it's harder to, to make those connections. And one of the big things that I've noticed is our adoptive families feel like they don't, they don't have people that understand what they're going through. And our adoptees certainly feel isolated and left out, and like they're the only person on the planet that's been adopted. Um, so how cool is it to be able to bring them together and show them, you know, there's, there's over 20,000 of you in the state of Oklahoma, just alone. So let's get you all together and, and you can meet. Um, another thing that we're doing, we're working on is getting a panel of adoptee youth together to engage, um, well, not youth, adoptee adults, to engage with our adopted youth and explain and talk about their, um, their experiences, what they've struggled with, what they've found helpful, what they're doing now. Um, 'cause adoptive youth, they sometimes feel like they're, they're alone and they're, there's nothing, nothing for them. Nobody's gonna understand their thoughts and their feelings. Um, so just being able to engage with adults that have been adopted and have been successful to see that they're, you know, yes, it's a struggle and, but there's, there's people that have made it and that are doing well and, and successful. Um, so that's something that we're trying to get together. Um, another thing is a is, um, a book club, which we've done in the past. Um, but that is a little bit more of a structured environment, um, where adoptive families can come and we discuss a book that's related to adoption, um, and just really talk about thoughts, feelings, things that they've learned, things that they have never thought about before. Um, and that would be a little, like I said, a little more structured, but we've got lots of really great things that we're working on, and like the community events are actually in place now, and I'm just so excited to start doing all these things to help our adoptees. Um, and I wanted to say thank you for everybody, um, attending this. Our, our attendance has just been growing and growing and growing, and it's so excited, exciting to see. Um, anybody else have anything to add that I forgot? [Carlie Van Woerkom] I just wanted to add that I have a couple of parents who had requested the certificate as, as parents. Um, if you would like that, please just put that in the chat and if you would like information, um, any updates on the OKFosters information, the, the network that Bonni works with, as well as if you'd like the PowerPoint, just put that in the chat and we'd be glad to get that information to you. But ditto to what Sarah said. [Bonni] Thank you, Carlie. Yeah, we have a couple, Carlie, thank you also for responding to Peggy's question, "Are we talking about state adoption or private?" and specific, the, the services that are provided for, through the post-adoption Department of Child Welfare is, as Carlie mentioned, post adoptions works with any child adopted through the state or any private who has applied for post adoptive services. So, um, if, I do want to add a caveat to that, that if we have a lot of people who are interested in providing post-adoption support for international or domestic adoptions, please reach out to me directly. I'll put my email address up here in just a minute. Um, and let me know of that interest and we can see how we can support that as well. Um, also the question from Peggy, "Who organizes these support groups?" Great question because that's kind of the conclusion to this conversation. Um, we are working Sarah, um, Sarah and her team, We've got Carlie, Caitlynn, and Grace on this call. They are all one unit in a post, in post-adoption in Oklahoma Human Services, who are, um, working on all of these efforts that, that Sarah was sharing. They're creating these opportunities, building some of these book clubs, support groups. Um, but I also want to, to share and let you know, we have resources to support you if you as a professional, or as an adoptive parent or an adoptee, if you are interested in starting your own, we would love to support you in that. Um, if you are internationally or domestically adopted, or internationally or domestically adopted a child and you would like to develop some type of support system around you, um, let us know. We've got curriculums that we can share with you. We've got all kinds of support that we would love to offer. I would love to see our state just inundated with adoption-specific and, and all different types of adoption, um, roles, groups, support groups, as we know, it is absolutely critical. And again, as Sarah said, the, this beginning of 2023, I had the opportunity to interview, uh, 30 adult adoptees, young adult adoptees. And this was one of the things that they said: in Oklahoma, they wish that they had more opportunities to connect with each other. So we know for sure that it is definitely a need, um, that we have here. So you, if you're a professional and you're sitting on here and you're thinking, man, I'm really interested in doing that, please, please, please reach out. ::What's Next - Contact info Bonni Goodwin - bgoodwin@ou.edu and Sarah Antari - sarah.antari@okdhs.org:: Um, I'm gonna put this slide that I keep saying. Here is my name and my email, and this is Sarah's name and Sarah's email. So I'll give you a second to either snapshot that or write it down. Um, let us know how we can support you and we will continue, if you're on our mailing list, we will continue to let you know. We've got Lunch and Learn webinars going twice a month and all the other things that Sarah was mentioning plus more 'cause we are growing all the support that we can possibly dream up. ::Attendees visible:: Okay. Any final, um, oh, thank you Kristin, I see you put a brochure in the chat. Can you unmute yourself and share with us? I know, I know Halo, but I'd love for you to share with us a little more about it. [Kristin] Excuse me. Hello? I, it, it attached before I was able to type something. [Bonni] Mm-Hmm. [Kristin] Um, just wanted to put out there that, uh, Halo Project. It is now in Tulsa. Uh, me and then Kelsey, It'll say Kelsey Campbell, but it's Kelsey Wiley. We both work with Dayspring Community Services and I don't know if any of you're familiar with the program, but it's a program out of Oklahoma City that provides, um, intensive outpatient, uh, services. It's a 10 week program for, uh, the first like, target population is for people that are either fostering or have, um, adopted children through the foster care system. But we are about to start our first cohort at the end of the month. And the, the age group for that is four to eight years old, but it is a curriculum that is based on TBRI and really focuses on helping provide support to foster parents, adopted parents, um, to help keep placements and to help them learn to connect with, uh, with, with their children. And so we're really excited about having it here 'cause it's in Oklahoma City and there has been, we received some referrals from Oklahoma City that have been on the list for two and a half years. So we're starting with one group, but it, we're slowly growing. Uh, it'll slowly grow and it will include also, the next stage group is 9 to 12 and then 13 to 17-18. So it's a program that occurs simultaneously. The parents, it's, um, two hour group for the parents and while, and the children will also be in a group at the same time. So really, really exciting to have that support in, uh, in Tulsa and not just Oklahoma City. So I attached our brochure, but um, any information, there's our phone number and there's also an email. [Bonni] Thank you, Kristin. Yes. Trust-Based Relational Intervention, TBRI, is a fantastic, um, therapeutic parent training to help parents have some really good strategies and concepts and understanding of the impact of the loss and grief and some of the trauma that our, um, that our kiddos through adoption have might've experienced. Um, good. I would also encourage you to email Sarah and I similar information. If you've already got groups that are going on, give us, send it to us. We've got a page on our Oklahoma Fosters, uh, Post Adoption tab that gives information about support groups going on in the state. Um, give us some really specific information like Kristin did about how, what's the population, what's the focus? Um, we'd like to make it really good, in-depth information as we put it out on that page so people know and are um, are able to connect with exactly what they're looking for. Excellent. Okay. Um, I saw a couple of you mention that you'd be interested in being a volunteer. I put my email address to, responded to you in chat, please. We would love to be in more contact. I know that there's lots of things that are coming up in the future. Any other final thoughts before we hop off today? Excellent. Well thank you so, so much for taking an hour of your time to have this conversation with us. Um, we will get all of those PowerPoints out and all that information out to you. And, uh, please, uh, continue to join us in these Lunch and Learn webinars. We cover the gamut of all different types of adoption competent information that hit all those different domains. And we also just wanna continue to learn from you. So thank you so much. Have a great day.