Lunch and Learn Adoption Competency Transcript --- [automated voice] Recording in progress [Lynn Smith] Hello, everyone. Welcome to our first Lunch and Learn about Adoption Competency. My name is Lynn Smith, and I'm your host for today. This Lunch and Learn is being brought to you by collaboration between the Oklahoma Department of Human Services, the University of Oklahoma Anne and Henry Zarrow School of Social Work, and the Oklahoma Adoption Competency Network. First, I want to welcome everyone to our first Post-Adoption Lunch and Learn. We appreciate everyone taking their noon hour and joining us. We want to get started so we can make sure to respect everyone's time and get to the great information that's going to be discussed today. Let's go over a few housekeeping things for our time together this afternoon. We are recording this meeting. So by participating, you are giving your consent to be recorded. We will share this recording with other families that were not able to join us today. Another thing, help us to reduce distractions so that we can all focus and participate. Everyone, please remain muted. We will have a question and answer time at the end of this webinar. We want to see you. So if you're willing and you can, please turn on your video, but if you're not able to that's fine also. Another important aspect: remember confidentiality. It is vital that we protect confidential information today. So, please do not share any specifics about adoption cases, people involved, or the children. [Lynn] Also -- [Participant, off-screen] That's fine, I was just turning our meeting on. [Lynn] And also at the end of the training we will provide you with the survey link that we'd like for you to complete. This provides you with the opportunity to give us feedback on today's presentation. And also, last but not least, if you are an open adoption home, please complete the survey and let us know because by attending this training you will receive one hour of training credit towards your 12 hours of in-service training that you need each year. So now I will hand everything off to my co-host Tammera Honer to introduce today's speakers discussing adoption competency. [Tammera Honer] Hi, thank you. We have two speakers today. First, we're going to have Dr. Bonni Goodwin. She is an assistant professor at the Anne and Henry Zarrow School of Social Work. She works with the Oklahoma Child Welfare Department as the Statewide Coordinator of Adoption Preservation Services. Dr. Goodwin is a clinical social worker who has worked with children and families in various ways for the past 20 years. Our other presenter is Dominic Carter. Dominic currently serves as an Education Specialist with the Department of Human Services. Prior to this position, he served in Child Protective Services and Permanency Planning with a total of nine years of experience with DHS. He is currently in the MSW program at the University of Oklahoma and plans to continue serving others following his graduation in May of 2023. I'm going to hand it off now to Dr. Goodwin. [Bonni Goodwin] Hello everyone and welcome. I am so, so excited to have this time with you today and that you have had the opportunity to jump on here with us. I am, we're gonna get started soon with the content, but I just wanted to give a quick hello and let you know a little bit of information about the format of these Lunch and Learns. We are going to continue offering these over the next several months. Hopefully even longer than that. So our goal is to just continue to build connection with you all and build support for our adoptive parents and adopted adults, but also professionals who are working with adopted individuals. So one thing I want to share with you that we're going to start with is at the beginning of every one of our Lunch and Learns we're gonna do a little brief explanation of attachment and share some activities to be able to build attachment with different ages of children. That is something that our adoptive parents have let us know that they would really like to have some more information on how to, to build connection within their family. So we're gonna start just a couple minutes sharing some activities with that. And then today we're gonna launch into adoption competency, helping define what that is and why it's important. So I'm so excited. Thank you to be here -- thank you for being here, and Dominic, let's get started. [Dominic Carter] Perfect. I just want to remind everybody that has logged in, if you could please enter your name and contact information in the chat. We will be keeping track of that for any additional information we need to send out about additional trainings. [Bonni] We are just waiting on sharing the screen. There we go. [Title Slide: Understanding Adoption Competency Dominic Carter, MSW Graduate Student The University of Oklahoma] [Dominic] There we go. Sorry took me a second. [Bonni] All right. [Dominic] All right, so good afternoon. As they did state, my name is Dominic Carter and I am pursuing my MSW at the University of Oklahoma and currently in my concentration year. So basically today we're going to be talking about understanding adoption competency and what that means moving forward to be able to serve the families and youth that are pursuing adoption or that are, or the children that want to be adopted. So we'll move forward. [Slide: Objectives] [Bonni] So today, as I mentioned, we are going to do a brief touch on attachment and share a couple ideas of how to build attachment at home. And then we are going to launch into a definition and explanation of adoption competency, what that entails, and why it's so important. And then we're gonna touch on some adoption language, some accurate and kind adoption language versus some inaccurate, or we know that words are important and carry a lot of weight. And then we're going to briefly touch on some trainings that are available in Oklahoma for adoption-competent professional work, and then hopefully we'll have a little bit of time at the end for any questions. [Slide: Attachment/Bonding Strategies] [Dominic] So as mentioned earlier, we'll start each webinars with a brief series and kind of explain what attachment and strategies are in order to build those specific bonding and attachment skills with the youth. So understanding attachment and bonding, it starts with meaningful and permanent connections to enhance the emotional well-being between two individuals and this is something that is very familiar and secure with children. These usual types of relationships outline more so a parent-child interaction. However, they do build a framework for other relationships such as peers, siblings, and members that they work with within the school systems. So what we'll talk about next is activities that we can actually engage in to help build that bonded relationship, to secure a sense of safety for those young people that we serve, whether it be on our case load as Child Welfare Specialists or mental health professionals that are working, trying to help our youth understand their process as they work through adoption. [Slide: Activity Time - How to build a bond or connection with infants and toddler? - 2 Minute drill (eye contact)] [Bonni] So our first activity we're going to share is a way to build connection with your littles. So we know that whenever you have an infant or a baby with you, then it's really fun to make faces and see if they can respond. What kind of faces they respond with. I know that as an aunt, whenever I have little nieces and nephews, I always like to teach them the, when you stick your tongue out, because that was always annoying to my sisters. So they reflect what you do and so it's really fun to, to have that at that time where it's specific that you are having, you're on their level, you're face to face, you're close to each other in proximity. If you think about when you are caring for an infant, when you are providing some of those really important connection times, that baby is right there. You hold the baby to feed them, you're changing their diaper, they're very, very close to you. And that's really a part of this activity time is to really to just get on their level. Be purposeful at being looking straight into their eyes and making some silly faces and just reflecting, seeing, and then sometimes even seeing if they can make a face, and depending on their age and, and you reflect that face back to them. [Slide: Activity Time - How to build a bond or connection with School age children? (mirror match) - 2 minute drill] [Dominic] So this next activity, this is also for older youth and I mean, let's just say when we were putting this together, that the two individuals at the bottom picture their eyes are just bulging out and it's very spooky. But I mean, it caught me, it caught my attention and I feel like when you have that interaction face to face with a child, that's what they're seeking to do. They're seeking to get your attention. They're seeking to understand, you know your relationship with them. So that mirror matching is very important when we are working with youth because they want to know that they're in a safe and stable place where they can express their emotion and feelings, and they typically through do that through facial expressions and nonverbal communication. And then once you have that relationship and you're able to build that bonded connection with that child, it gives you an opportunity to be able to ask those important questions. Kind of, what has happened? What's going on? And then once you get that information, we're able to kind of move forward with that process to continue to grow, build, and work that relationship so that, that child understands that you are there for them and you're willing to walk with them because they are the experts of their being, so. [Bonni] And with olders, I just want to add that you can also add some things to this matching time where you can say something silly and have them respond with a silly voice that matches yours. So just adding layers to that mirror match where they're, where you're eye-to-eye and spending that time together. [Slide: What is adoption competency? - Professional(s) who understand the largely unmet need(s) of adoptive families when providing services (Atkinson & Riley, 2017). - Largest unmet need(s) of children and families in post-adoption] [Bonni] All right. So now we're going to shift to "What is adoption competency?" Really, what this has stemmed from is several, several years of research with families in post-adopt. Asking them and adult adoptees, "What are some of the biggest gaps and needs after the adoption is legalized, or finalized? Sorry, legally finalized. And what we've heard consistently is, "We need someone, like a professional, sometimes it's mental health professional, sometimes it's pediatrician, sometimes it's a teacher, so it really branches across all professional fields. Anyone who works with children who have been adopted or adoptive parents. And they say that they really just needed someone who gets it, who understands all that, all that is adoption. So that's what adoption competency came from is that voice, listening to the voice of adoptees and adoptive parents saying, "We need someone who gets it." So for the last 10 years or so, we've had several experts across the nation and across the world come together and start building a definition of what does it mean to be adoption competent? What is, what knowledge and skills do you need to be able to do the best work with our kids and families from adoption? [Slide: Domains of Adoption Competency (A pie chart divided into 18 sections of various colors, surrounded by the list of 18 domains.) 1. Theoretical/Philosophical Framework 2. The Therapeutic Approach 3. History of Adoption & Adoption Processes 4. Planning & Preparing for Adoption 5. Legal Issues in Adoption 6. Differences Between Adoption & Family of Origin 7. Clinical Issues 8. Impact of Genetics & Past Experiences 9. Trauma & Brain Neurobiology 10. Different Types of Adoptive Families 11. Adoptive Family Formation, Integration, & Development Stages 12. Cultural Issues 13. Needs of Birth Family Members 14. Openness in Adoption 15. Race & Ethnicity 16. Therapeutic Modalities/Techniques 17. Community & Cross Systems Work 18. Ethical Practice] [Dominic] Alright. So next we'll kind of outline the domains of adoption confidence, and kind of looking at this picture you see 18 different domains. Which each one of them are very unique in their own way and very complex, and they overlap and they weave together. So the importance here is to understand that a lot of them have unique characteristics about adoption that must be understood and included in the lens in which we view professional approaches and work with our adoptive individuals and families. So with that being said, with working directly within, we have to look at this as the lens. [The pie chart on the slide is replaced by a camera lens.] [Dominic] So each competency allows us to really hone in on this child's experience and how we work with them. And the more we understand the each competency the more that we're able to build that relationship and understand that child and meet the needs of that child as we go through the process as they build this attachment and bond to their adoptive families, as well as their siblings and members that serve them within the dynamics of the community. So just being mindful as we go through this process and understanding the domains that we're just going to focus on a few of them today, but the goal is to make sure that each of the domains are understood to be able to serve the youth and families. [Slide: Attachment One of the core issues in adoption - Understand ambivalence, claiming, and parental expectations in adoptive family formation and integration - Hold a belief in open and honest communication to promote healthy adjustment and positive adoptive family formation - Ability to assist family members in building healthy attachments] [Bonni] So the first, again, is attachment. And the reason why we really are honing in on attachment is because it's really one of the top core competency areas to understand. There's, there is attachment challenges, some attachment wounds and loss, but then there's also the need for families to build attachment for kids whenever they join a new home. It takes work. It's intentional. You have to, to work to build connection. So an adoption competent professional really understands what some of those complexities are. How can we support families and claiming? And having and the word that call, it's called entitlement. Not the, not the negative entitlement that we talk about with people whenever they think that they deserve something, but an entitlement where it's, "This is my child. This is my kid. This is my family." And being able to really embrace that, and how to help families grow that, and go to the depth of the strategies, like ways to do that on an ongoing basis. Additionally, being able to create an environment of safety and security in the home, to have open communication. A lot of times, we're going to talk about loss and grief here in a second, but that really, like Dominic said, all these really weave together in a deep way. So the loss of attachment, the loss of first family and the relationships there have to be recognized and have to be safe for the child to be able to say, "Today, I feel really sad. I miss my mom. I miss my biological mom. Or I wish I knew them." And safety and security is a big piece of what attachment is. It's when you feel like you can trust the person who is in charge of you as a child. And so encouraging families to build that open, honest communication, and having a comfortable place to be able to talk about all the aspects that are included in attachment. [Slide: Loss & Grief Another Core Issue in Adoption - Always a loss in adoption, oftentimes layered and numerous - Unresolved grief can look like symptoms of mental health diagnoses - Strategies and tools to help children recognize loss and navigate grief] [Dominic] Alright. So next we're going to talk about loss and grief. So each child that we work with, whether it be from the child welfare system or that has experienced adoption, at some point in time has experienced some type of maltreatment, whether it be abuse, neglect, or any other maltreatment, it all comes in layers. And if this information is not recognized and it goes unresolved, these could be perceived as symptoms of mental health diagnoses. So as adoption competent professionals, understanding these issues of loss and grief in adoptions, it could definitely help build strategies to help these youth and families recognize the losses that they've experienced as they've gone through this process. As a child welfare specialist, I have worked several years within the field. And as one of the, one of the representatives said earlier today, and each child, when they would get moved from place to place, it was because loss. They had a hard time dealing with the process of having to be moved, or missing their family, or not being able to be placed with siblings. So being able to understand those specific instances where that child just wants to be acknowledged. They want to be heard, and they want to be able to use their voice to be able to advocate for themselves. And sometimes as professionals we perceived their behavior as a personal attack on us, when in essence they're just trying to process the grief and the loss that they're dealing with. So as we move forward, we make sure that when we understand these behaviors, it's because they've experienced that loss and grief, and we have to be able to give them grace in the process to be able to process that in a manner that is conducive for their healing process, and then being able to walk with them through that process so that they understand they have someone they can trust and someone that will be able to walk through it with them. [Slide: Trauma Another Core Issue in Adoption - Adverse childhood experiences -- abuse, neglect, loss(es), and other traumatic experiences - Respect for child's pre-adoption experiences that may make adoption challenging for them - Impact of trauma may be different between siblings] [Dominic] Um trauma is um, another pillar within the, the lens of adoption competency. So every child experienced adverse childhood experiences. And with those adverse childhood experiences, they're looking for someone that is confident enough to be able to respect that pre-adoption experience, and kind of being able to maintain that emotional and behavioral challenges to work with them directly. So processing the healing from the trauma, traumatic experience and just letting them know that you know, it's okay. That we are there. We are willing to help, and their story may not be exactly what happened. But once you take the time out to build that relationship and put the pieces together, they have a trusted, worthy individual that they're willing to continue to work with to address that trauma moving forward. And the objective is to be able to work with those siblings as well, because trauma does not translate to siblings the same way. So when we're working with sibling groups, we have to know when to respect that sibling, to be able to work with them individually on their trauma, and then we could serve those youth together as needed, as a family unit. And then incorporate those, those professionals at the school, or including adoptive parents as well, because they are one unit, they are one family and the objective is to make sure that we can maintain that household and get them to a place of happiness and healing. Has there been anyone here on the training today that has experienced any specific individuals or professionals that have helped their youth through trauma and have a short story to be able to tell us today? And if you want to unmute and you can, or if you want to type it in the chat, you can also do that as well. [Bonni] Maybe as people might be typing something, I'm just gonna throw in that I think trauma is something that our mental health community has done really well at recognizing the impact of trauma on children, how it impacts development of the brain, social and emotional development, and even physical development. And I think we've done a good job of being able to understand that and really help people know trauma-informed practice. Trauma awareness. You know, what are the things we can do to help children who have experienced some type of traumatic event? But I also want to throw out there -- right, thank you for saying that: [reading] "Trauma is synonymous with loss and grief." It is! It is, loss and grief is a form of trauma and what I was just about to say fits with that of where, so often when I am out with the community and I'm talking about adoption competency, I get back the sense of, "Well we're trauma-informed, we're trauma aware." And I just want to point out that trauma is one of those 18 competencies that we looked at, and so it's incredibly critical to understand it, but it's also not all of adoption competency. It's a piece of it. It's a piece of the puzzle. It's piece of the pie. Super super important. But it weaves in and integrates into all these other things that we've talked about so far and we're going to continue talking about adoption competency and how they, how they connect with each other what's -- and specifically what strategies do professionals have to be able to help with these different aspects of adoption. [Slide: Child Development & Identity Formation - Development and adoption - Bonding while simultaneously becoming an individual - Identity formation in adolescence with missing puzzle pieces - Research on adoption breakdown] [Bonni] Okay. So the next one we're going to talk about is child development and identity formation. This one is near and dear to my heart. I think this is one of the competency areas that is really, really, really critical to understand because it is so pervasive. We know development, right, is the, the way the brain grows, the social-emotional growth. It's how we continue to move and grow and, and mature and be able to be more and more successful in our world and our environment. What -- some of the challenges that we have with the development, how development interacts with and weaves into adoption is the sense of when a child hits the point of adolescence. So one of the main goals of adolescence is identity formation. Who am I? And a lot of times that's where some of our kids start to have some challenges, because they are growing up their brain is kind of new, right? Like it's growing, it's more mature. It can be more abstract instead of black and white. So it's like they're putting on new glasses and looking back at their story and seeing it in a whole new way. So reaching back to trauma, sometimes that can trigger some things with trauma, but it also is a part of the process of putting together, um, the big picture of what then does this mean for me as a human? Who am I? So it can be challenging for for our kids to have, maybe, some gaps in their story. Maybe they don't know some pieces to their their own journey. What does that then mean for who I am? Also who am I looking at around me? Who is my immediate family? With my kiddos who have been adopted trans racially, so their adoptive parents are a different racial background than they are, then that can be one of the most challenging things, is I look to my racial connection my heritage and, but I'm not necessarily there anymore. So I don't feel like I'm connected to my heritage but then I also look to my adoptive parents, but I don't look like them, I'm different than them. So who do I reflect and build off of for who I am? And so can be a really complex and kind of overwhelming. And so our professionals really need to have an understanding of some strategies to be able to help families and help kids put those things together. So let's watch in this next slide, we're going to watch a very short clip of an adult adoptee who is talking about what it felt like in adolescence. [Slide: What It Felt Like... Identity Formation and Adoption -- Teen Years] [Video plays from Adopted: The Identity Project] [Speaker] High school was really hard for me, teenagers are really hard for me. I had all these friends who would rebel against their parents, right? Or their family. Because it looked like them and how dare that be. And so the way they kind of rebel is to be the opposite of that. Boy, I was jealous of that, because here I had these parents, this family that look nothing like me to begin with, so I really had, I didn't know who I was or even have some solid grounding which to rebel against. So I remember that I, I tried on things for sizes. I always felt like I was kind of on probationary status with this family. Although they were lovely. It was my, it was my issue. I was trying very hard to figure out who I was, and there was nothing around me that was similar in order to figure that out. Nothing. That was like me, no mirror of sorts. So I, I stressed out. I was a kid tried to, I tried on lots of identities, maybe, lots of faces and masks and sizes. And I remember with this temporary status that I felt, this probationary status that I felt in this world that I inhabited, I would, I was a people pleaser. So whatever you needed, I would give you. And so I'd do this differently with all these people and it just, it got to me. Yeah, it just got to me and I and I remember almost kind of snapping, and I was in therapy all throughout high school because I, I don't think my parents know what to do with my stress or my lack of feeling calm and at home in my own body, but no one knew, no one mentioned adoption. Nobody. I talked to the high school counselor. I was with a couple different therapists. Nobody ever thought the adoption was the deal, not one single person. So I thought I was crazy. [Card: Welcome to the conversation A course to help parents understand the identity formation of their adopted children Adopted: The Identity Project Real Pepole. Real Stories. Real Insight for Parents www.AdoptionLearningPartners.org] [Video ends] [Bonni] Man, how much would it have helped this adoptee? If any, any of those therapists, or counselors, or school teachers, or anybody who she spoke to about how she was feeling in her own skin, if they had the awareness of that that is something that adopted, adopted adolescents experience, normalizing it. Now I wanted, I want to clarify that everything that we're talking about here and saying about some of the challenges that adopted kids and adopted families might experience, it is not pathologizing. So it's not saying that there's automatically going to be problems. That's not what we're trying to say. In fact that's a piece of adoption competency as well, is that it is not pathologizing adoption, but instead it's just recognizing that there, there are challenges. There are some specific ways of moving through the world as adopted that can be issues, challenges as she described, just feeling, just feeling disconnected in her own world. Trying to figure out what is happening right now. And so being able -- and that's, Lynn, thank you for putting the question in the chat about "How can adoption competency help adoptive parents?" That's the big piece of this, I think. There's two things. First of all is understanding these competencies because then it helps to understand the child. It helps to understand the process. What are we experiencing? Is this a part of adoption? That's one thing I've heard from families that came to me when I was practicing direct service and I was a therapist. So many times parents would ask me "Is this just my child's age, or is this adoption?" And my answer always is, "Yes, both." It is always both because that's the part of, adoption is always a part of the story, and, but then what does that mean? Right, so it's not just recognizing it but then also having some things, some support, some ways to do it. And the second way that adoption competency can help adoptive parents is, I really I hope that if you are an adoptive parent on this Lunch and Learn today and you're hearing this and you're like, 'Yes, this makes sense to me. Yes, this, I get this," but you have, maybe you've worked with a therapist or, you know, some type of pediatrician for a long time and you love them. You're very connected and feel very safe with them. But there are just a few things here and there that they just don't quite get. They can take these trainings that we'll share with you about. These things exist out there. And you can suggest to the professionals, you can say, "Hey, I love -- we love you. We love working with you. But we also would love for you to dig in a little bit more about adoption specifically, because we don't want to, we don't we don't want to disconnect from you." Or if you are, you haven't yet started therapy, and you're really interested and you feel like it's needed and necessary, then you can ask mental health providers when you're looking, interviewing different providers, "What adoption competency training have you had?" And now you'll know that that is a thing. That is, there's some specific things, and it's also a very defined concept, so, and advocating for your children and for your family, that's the way that you can also use this information. [Slide: Diversity and Difference Race, Ethnicity, and Culture - Understand children's understanding of race at different developmental levels - Be comfortable in engaging with clients of different racial/ethnic backgrounds - Ability to support adoptive families in talking about race, ethnicity, and/or culture with their adopted child] [Dominic] Right. So next we'll talk about diversity and difference. As many people know, this is an extremely hot topic in society and it's very critical in competency, and understanding, kind of, where adoption families and youth are in the process because we know that there are individuals that do adopt youth from different races, or cultures and heritages and backgrounds, than their own. So it's definitely important to understand the nuances and the dynamics of what that means for this specific child in their family. There's a different layer of loss when it comes to working with youth, and understanding the tools that are needed to help this youth process that phase of adoption and being able to give that child a space and opportunity to kind of have those moments to be able to express themselves, to say they don't feel comfortable. And having those conversations about you know, "Because you don't look like me doesn't mean that I don't love you." But across different cultures people are able to love genuinely. And with that being said, you can address that, but also in the process, we have to be mindful that when that child has that moment of just authenticity and wanting to understand their true self, engaging those individuals within their biological family who are positive, that can give them their history, background, and culture, and that can give them pictures that will help them identify, "This is my biological mother. This is my biological father. This is where my futures come from. This is who I look like, this is the understanding of me and who I am," and they can become comfortable with that and being able to move forward with knowing that they have both their biological and their adoptive family working together hand-in-hand to make sure that they're feeling comfortable and safe in their own being. And then just like I said earlier, just honoring that individual. I think sometimes when asking about those biological family members, sometimes adoptive families may not want to introduce them to that trauma, but knowing that we're -- have the individuals who are competent to work through that with them, it gives them confidence that they can be in that safe space and be themselves and not have to worry about the shame or guilt that may come with the losses that they've experienced through the process. So yes, we'll move to the next slide and we'll talk about inaccurate language. [Slide: Adoption Language Inaccurate Language - Real parents - Giving up/Away for Adoption - Adopted Child - Handicap Child - Available Child - Illegitimate - Is adopted - Natural Parent - Abandoned/Rejected] [Bonni] I just want to add, too, that with that diversity and difference, it also includes growing up in a family that has different structures, like single parents who have adopted, kinship families who have adopted, the transition from Grandmother to Mother role. There's a lot in that one competency area, and it's very complex. And so it's just really important for professionals to understand all the complexities, and how best to support families and walking through some of those challenges. So speaking of, adoption language is a big deal we know that words have power. And a lot of times, if you think about how much adoption kind of, there's, if you think about all the different child stories, child movies, Disney movies, how many times orphanage or orphan or adoption, you know, the loss of parental figure really is related. It's just a thread that goes throughout so many child's -- children books and movies. And so it develops some sense of "What is adoption? What is the story of adoption?" Additionally, we have a history of child welfare in the United States and that has an impact on the language that we use. But we don't always pay attention to how that language impacts. So I just want to ask you, if you could throw in the chat, What are some -- and there's obviously some listed up here so you may you may use some of those -- but what is some of the language that you've heard when people talk about adoption? [reading] Legal parents. Yes. Real parents. Anything else? Has anyone heard or used the phrase "Put up for adoption?" That's not on this list. I hear it all the time, all the time. And I just want to give a little insight into that, if you hear it as well. "Put up for adoption" is actually very specific to our history of child welfare in the US. When, way back, I'm sure you guys have heard of the orphan trains. It was an effort to find homes, loving homes, for children who did not have homes, maybe in the cities. And they would load children onto the trains and shoot them across the continent to find caregivers, to find a loving home. And unfortunately far too often what happened, I mean, the phrase itself was "put up" because the children were put up on platforms right outside the train for them to then either be inspected, or to perform, and there were the potential adoptive parents out in the audience, and that's how they would make the decision, "Oh, I want that child or that child." Sometimes, there might have been some good matches where parents really truly were looking for a child to love and care for. But far too often what we know happened was that it was actually some families who were looking for cheap or free labor. And so that happened. It happened in our history and definitely not what we intended. And definitely not how we do adoption today. So the phrase "Put up for adoption" actually is very inaccurate because it's connecting back to the orphan trains and how we handled things then. [reading] Yeah, "Real, real kid," "Real parents," a lot of times, I hear this from kid to kid, if a child is at school and they're talking about their adoption, or someone found out they were adopted, then another child says, "Well where are your real parents? Who are your real parents?" Or, "Which one--" like Shelley says, "Which one are your real kids?" When in reality everybody's real, right? Like adoptive families are real, adoptive parents are real parents. So that's very inaccurate and can be very painful. The "giving up/giving away for adoption," "they gave up their child for adoption." Relinquishment, the choice to voluntarily place a child for adoption is a more accurate way to say that, because if you think about you as a child growing up and hearing people say over and over again, "You were given up," "You were given away." What does that then, what are you holding on to for whenever you become an adolescent and you start putting your, your story together and your identity of who you are? "I was not wanted." "I was given away." And that's, that's not what we want our kids to be feeling or believing about themselves. [Slide: Adoption Language Accurate Language - Birth Parents - Placing for Adoption - My child or child - Child with special needs - Waiting child - Born to unmarried parents - Was adopted - Biological Parents - Separated from Parents] [Dominic] And next we'll talk about accurate language, and as an individual who has gone through the MSW program, we focused on strength-based language that's more centered to the child and speaks to them, to make sure that whatever trauma that they've experienced, that one: we don't re-traumatize them. But in addition to that, we give them an opportunity to experience life for what it is in terms of being realistic. I think Dr. Goodwin had mentioned it earlier in terms of being birth parents. Parents, whether it be adoptive or biological, they're in that position to nurture this child, to educate this child, to put them in a position to be a productive citizen the best way that they know how. So as she stated earlier, language is very powerful and it could shift a child's thinking, but it also shifts adults' thinking. So if we view negatively, then that impacts the child in a way that continues to traumatize them, and the objective here for this training is to make sure that we're competent and understand how our language impacts our youth and how that can help them negatively or positively move forward. So we want to be strength-based in our approach, in making sure that the child understands that they are connected to this family. They are a part of this family and we will include them in the process as we move forward. So using words such as "my child" as opposed to "the adopted child," that makes a difference in terms of how they view themselves in terms of being wanted as a part of it, included or being isolated and being rejected. So making sure that you know, we are honest in our approach, strength-based in how we present to the children, and then being able to include them in the process because you can ask them what do they want to be called? If they don't want to be called their name or if they don't want to be called your child at that time, make sure that it is child-centered based so that they are included in this process, and that kind of falls back to that bond and attachment that we talked about earlier, how important that is. Because if we include them they're going to be honest and transparent with us, and that will kind of move everything forward. [Slide: Types of Adoption] [Bonni] All right. So as we wind down here, I just want to touch on another piece of adoption competencies: the recognition of that there are different types of adoption, different ways that people come to adoption. Domestic is really that private placement. A lot of times it is infant, whenever a baby is born, that the, the first mother or biological mother made the decision to place the baby for adoption and, and chose who the adoptive parents are. Sometimes it can be older children as well. But it's really those that are privately situated, and without the child welfare system. International adoption is what we understand of where you are adopting a child from a different country. And so lots of the things we've talked about today would play a big role in understanding that type of adoption. And then a lot of what we talked about specifically today has been adoption from Child Welfare. Our kiddos who have experienced a break, or a loss of their biological family due to some type of child abuse or neglect, or something similar to that. So they go into foster care and then leave foster care. And the goal is to reunify with biological family. That's the number one goal, but for our children who are not able to do that, then adoption is often adoption, guardianship, kinship placements, those are all the different options. And so those -- understanding these different types and then understanding that sometimes they mesh together, because a lot of the kiddos that I used to work with in therapy were originally internationally adopted and then somehow ended up in foster care here in the US. And so then looking at adoption again, how does that feel for the child? What type of loss do we need to help them recognize and process whenever it's different types of adoption? What does that mean for their future? [Slide: Conclusion NTI: National Adoption Competency Mental Health Training Initiative Advancing Practice for Permanency & Well-Being NTI Training - Child welfare version and mental health version available online for free - CEUs available for mental health providers - Self-paced with a variety of resources to view and download - At completion, providers can opt to have their name and information included in a national directory] [Dominic] And now we'll talk about training. The National Adoption Competency Mental Health Training Initiative, which is known as NTI. They do provide training to individuals within the child welfare system, and then there's also specific training for mental health, individuals who serve in mental health, and it is an online training. So it is free, you have the ability to access that and be able to go through specific steps and actually view these competencies and understand more specific details on how they apply to the youth and families that we serve. There are also continued education units or credits that is available for mental health providers. And the good thing about it is, it is a self-paced resource. You're able to download the information on your computer and it'll take you to several different modules so that you can access those resources to become more knowledgeable in this process of adoption competency. And you can also be added to the National Directory once this training is complete. So when those individuals in your state and your county, they're looking for individuals who are certified as far as adoption competency, they're able to locate you and be able to reach out to you and be able to gain resources and access to your services. [Slide: TAC Training TAC | Training for Adoption Competency - 72-hour curriculum with one in-home and 11 classroom-based sessions - Six case consultation sessions are embedded in 6 of the 11 classroom sessions to support transfer of learning to practice TAC Certification - Starting this year, all participants who complete all elements of the TAC program and pass the assessment will receive a certificate - The certificate allows them to state or advertise that they hold or have earned the CASE Training for Adoption competency (TAC) Certificate - There is an Advanced and a Basic certification available, based on completion of case consultation] [Bonni] I put the link to the NTI training in the chat for any professional who is interested in accessing that training. It's a federal initiative based off of the big need that adoptive parents and adult adoptees shared with us about that being such a significant gap of resources. So a federal initiative created and funded this training for free for anybody across the US. So that training link is there, but that National Directory, going back to the adoptive parents who are on our call, that's a good place to start. If you don't have a therapist and you're trying to find someone, that National Directory is the place that I start whenever people ask me for a good referral for a therapist who understands adoption. So this TAC training is also available in Oklahoma. It is more in-depth and it's 72 hours. It's very long. It's essentially, it's like if you have done an overview training of something and now you're wanting to get certified in it. That's what TAC is. So it does cost. It's more intensive. It has consultation, but you do receive a certification at the end of that. If anyone's interested in that, just please email me and I will get you the information about the next TAC cohort that is starting in March. Putting my email address in the chat as well. [Slide: References Atkinson, A.J., & Riley, D.B. (2017). Training for Adoption Competency: Building a Community of Adoption-Competence Clinicians. Families in Society, 98(3), 235-242. https://doi.org/10.1606/1044-3894.2017.98.23] [Dominic] All right, and this is one of our references that we've used to conduct this specific training about adult adoption competency. Does anyone have any specific questions they would like to ask? You have the ability to unmute or you can put that information in the chat. [Lynn] And I also want to add, Dominic, that I am putting the link to the survey to give us a little bit of feedback on today's presentation. I will put that into the chat, and also the survey, if you're an adoptive parent that is on today, we would love, really love for you to fill this out to give us feedback, to give us also ideas about topics that you would like to listen to and learn about in regards to supporting you and your adoptive family. So I'm gonna put that into the chat while we do the question and answer. [Bonni] Are there any questions or thoughts that anyone wants to share? [Nikol Bailey] Well, I appreciate this training because I didn't know that there are actually therapists who specialized in adoption competency. And so that's just a real good piece of information to know as an adoption specialist to be able to recommend to my adoptive families who may find themselves in trouble. Or just maybe a little bit worried and want to consult with someone who is specialized and trained in adoption and that transition of adoption. So. [Bonni] Thank you, Nikol. And yeah, the, I don't know, Toya or Christy, would one of you mind looking up the link to the National Directory of NTI and putting that in the chat so that then our participants can have that link as well if they want to look at the National Directory to see who around them or who in different regions. It's national, so it's also in different states. So if you've got a kiddo who is adopted from someone in a different state, that's a good place to go to find adoption specialized or adoption trained therapists. Any other thoughts or questions? Okay. Well, I am so grateful for you guys and your time and for joining us in this conversation. We do have our next Lunch and Learn that is scheduled for, what date y'all? [Lynn] It is Mar-- I think March the 28th. I do believe. And so we do have the email information that we, that everyone put into the chat, and also on the survey so you will be getting that information. We do have another event coming up on March the third, which is a book club. And so look out for that in your emails. There's a book club. We will be going over the book "20 Things Adopted Kids Wish Adoptive Parents Knew." Let me get the flyer and I will put that flyer in the chat, so that information can be dispensed as well. [Bonni] And that book club is gonna meet every other week, right Lynn? [Lynn] Yes. Every other week and we would love to have our adoptive parents attend, and also professionals, that's fine. It is a book, you would think from the title that is it is only addressing children, but it is not, it is very supportive to our adoptive parents. New ways of thinking, new ways of looking at things, and addressing some of the emotions and conversations that may be difficult to have. [Bonni] What about adult adoptees, Lynn? Do you feel like they would that would be a great book club for them to join as well? [Lynn] I do. I do, because the book does address some of the feelings and maybe opening the doors for those types of conversation and how to have them. That's the difficult part because we all know that there are emotions that are wrapped around conversations that are difficult to have. And I think that is it. Is there anything else that we would like to discuss? Any other supports that we are doing that we can give out information on? [Bonni] I think those are the ones that we have planned and specifically have dates set for. But I do, as Lynn mentioned in the survey, please give us some feedback. Let us know. Our goal here is to is to expand and develop more ways to support our adult adoptees and our adoptive families and children across the state of Oklahoma. So, please give us some ideas. We would love to hear your thoughts on how we can, what we can turn our attention to as we continue with these Lunch and Learns and also launch this great book club coming up. Thank you guys so, so very much. We really appreciate your time and hope you have a great rest of your day. [Dominic] Thank you guys. [Lynn] Thank you.