Lunch & Learn: Oklahoma’s Adoption and Post Adoption Support Efforts --- [Slide: Foster and Adoptive Parent Connect and Support Group Map of Oklahoma separated into 5 regions. Region 1: Alfalfa, Beaver, Beckham, Blaine, Woodward, Canadian, Cimarron, Custer, Dewey, Ellis, Garfield, Grant, Harper, Kay, Kingfisher, Logan, Major, Noble, Payne, Roger Mills, Texas, Washita, Woods, and Woodward counties Region 2: Caddo, Carter, Cleveland, Comanche, Cotton, Garvin, Grady, Greer, Harmon, Jackson, Jefferson, Johnson, Kiowa, Lincoln, Love, Marshall, McClain, Murray, Potawatomie, Stephens, and Tillman counties Region 3: Oklahoma county Region 4: Adair, Atoka, Bryan, Cherokee, Choctaw, Coal, Creek, Haskell, Hughes, Latimer, Leflore, McCurtain, McIntosh, Muskogee, Okfuskee, Pittsburg, Pontotoc, Pushmataha, Seminole, Sequoyah, and Wagoner counties Region 5: Craig, Delaware, Mayes, Nowata, Osage, Ottawa, Pawnee, Rogers, Tulsa, and Washington counties] [Lynn Smith] Hello. Hello everyone. Thank you for coming out. This is our first Circle of Care OU and OKDHS support group collaboration. We were going to do breakout rooms by region, but we're going to be changing that a little bit today. So we're going to be moving with the different format. I put into the chat, so please list your name, email, and the region that you're joining from. And so we can see everyone that is on the call. My name is Lynn Smith. I will be your host today. This is the first-- [clears throat] Excuse me. Allergies. Oklahoma, it's starting. But it's a beautiful day, so I'm just gonna roll with that. So like I was saying, this is a Foster Care and Adoptive Parent connect and support group collaboration meeting. It's being presented to you as a collaboration between the Circle of Care, the Oklahoma Department of Human Services, University of Oklahoma Anne and Henry Zarrow School of Social Work, and the Oklahoma Adoption Competency Network. First I want to welcome everyone. We appreciate everyone joining us through your lunch or noon hour. We want to get started, so let's make sure that we respect everyone's time. First, let's go over a little bit of few-- over a few housekeeping rules. We are recording this meeting, so by participating you are giving your consent to be recorded. Help us reduce distractions so we can all focus and participate. And we would love to see your faces. So if you're willing and you can, please turn on your video, but if you are unable that is fine also. We want to remember confidentiality. It is vital that we protect confidential information. So sharing of names and details about adoption cases is something that we don't want to do on a public platform. Also at the end of this meeting. We will have a survey link be put into the chat. So if you would like, please complete that so we can have an opportunity for feedback. And I hand everything right now over to my co-host Dominic Carter. [Dominic Carter] Right. Thank you guys again for being here today at this support collaboration group. So just as a quick reminder as she said earlier we, typically we're going to do breakout rooms. But what we want to do is be able to kind of take this opportunity to be able to build a network of resources for adoptive parents just across the state of Oklahoma. [Slide: Breakout Rooms 01 - Breakout Rooms: Get to know others in your region. Introductions 02 - Collaborate on: Regional Needs? Connection to others. Type of Connection Needed. 03 - Build a Plan: Build upon an idea presented for Regional area.] [Dominic] So what we'll do is we'll basically focus on specific questions to figure out one, how can we support each other as a state, provide resources to you all, and be able to get a list of resources together so when we do have other adoptees, adoptive parents, or professionals in the state of Oklahoma that need those resources we can provide those as needed. And then what we'll do is, the goal is to try to continue these meetings to be able to provide that Supportive Services to you all. So there are specific questions that we'll kind of focus on, and what I'll do is I'll put them in the chat so that everyone knows kind of what we'll highlight. Actually, they're already there. So what, the first question that we'll start out with and really the goal and objective, if you want to put it in the chat you can um, we would like to have a open dialogue with all of the participants. So if you want to unmute and answer any specific questions or ask a question, we do encourage that as well. So one of the first questions we're going to focus on is, um, are you connected to others who have experienced adoption the way that you have? Whether that be an adoptee, an adoptive parent, and what does that experience look like for you? [Lynn] As you can see on the roadmap, we were going to go into breakout rooms for each of these questions. But like I said, I think this is great that we are creating our own Roundtable. And everyone can definitely give their expertise about the area that they are living in, what supports are in those areas. So, um, like Dominique said, the first question: Are you connected to others who have experienced adoption the way that you have? So what does your circle of support look like in regards to, you know, after you have adopted? Including, it can be OKDHS case workers, anyone there that has been there to support you. [Bonni Goodwin] You can see in the chat, Katina, thank you. They're saying, "Not at all. So no connection to anyone, lack of follow-up support, lack of Mental Health Services for any preven-preventive Services. It's either inpatient or nothing. Counselors don't necessarily understand what it is truly like after adopting." Yes. I hear you Katina, you are not alone. Many, many adult, adult adoptees, as well as adoptive parents feel that same way. I'm really glad that you're here today to be able to, to connect with us and, and help us start dreaming of how we can build some better connection -- and apologize about my dog -- and we just had another participant join us, Roby, welcome. Right now, we're just talking about this first question of the conversation day: Are you connected others who've experienced adoption in the same way that you have? [Lynn] I do, um, would like to follow up with what Katina Heatherington put into the chat. You say that there's been a lack of follow-up supports. What does that look like? What type of supports would you need? This is a great time to give out ideas and let us know as we create this support group. So, can you give us a little bit more information on that? [Tammera Honer] And Katina, would you rather talk then then put it in the chat? You can do either. [Katina Heatherington] Sorry, I was on the phone, I couldn't answer. I think for me, a support group was a great place to start. It's very hard, trying to articulate and help others understand why. You get people that are, "Oh, that's so awesome," that, um, "That you did that," to, "I can't believe you said that," or "Or that's frustrating to you." Follow-up services, to me, it's been, they're not hard enough for inpatient, because they're not harmful to themselves or others. But all of the group mom beds are reserved for inpatient kids who are doing [unintelligible] and so I just need a lot of support, or resources. [Bonni] I see that we also -- thank you Katina, very much. Yes, we heard you. It was a little muffled. So I'm not sure we caught everything that you said, but we heard quite a bit and I really appreciate you sharing your thoughts and your experience. We also have -- Oh, and I'm, I just saw that you put in the chat that you worked at DHS for 14 years. Wow. And Nicollette, you mentioned you've got a friend who adopted children from foster care, you're in the process of recertifying as a foster parent, and you're looking forward to the community that comes with fostering. Real quick question. Are you are you looking, then, and preparing for being a foster parent? Are you an adoptive parent or thinking about adopting in the future? [Nicollette Brandt] I adopted in 2019 from foster care and, and kind of, now, are settled and ready to have more kids in our lives. So, and we'll, both definitely. [Bonni] Okay, gotcha, and it sounds like maybe it's similar to, to something that Katina was mentioning, that that you're looking forward to something that, would it be accurate to say that you lost that once you adopted? That community? [Nicollette] Yeah, and I mean having to go to those trainings and having Foster support groups and, and needing that new information and people to bounce things off of was, was good and helpful. I mean, we just sort of have a pretty normal life now and our problems are normal kid problems. They're not really serious stuff. But yeah, that was having so many people interested in my kids and, and talking to these caseworkers and, and going to these community events and it was, it was amazing. [Bonni] I feel like that kind of leads this group to the second question of, what type of connection and support are you interested in? So Nicollette you mentioned just having people interested in your kids, and being able to be in the same space as people talking about these things. What, Katina, if you wouldn't mind, and Roby and Sherry, you're welcome to join in the conversation, and Samantha, hello as well. What are, what are you looking for? What do you think would be the most helpful support? [Katina] I mean, I think a safe place to discuss frustrations that you're having, and to have a resource, somebody who can understand what you're going through. [unintelligible] it's kind of hard having problematic kids, even though [unintelligible]. [Bonni] Did anyone-- did everyone catch what Katina was saying? I know Katina the first thing you said was a place to express frustrations, and have people who get it and understand that. I'm not sure I caught everything else that you said. It was a little jumbled in the audio. [Bonni] So I wonder if-- [Katina] I'm sorry, is this any better? [Bonni] No, it -- it's totally wonderful technology. It helps us to meet but it also causes some challenges. [Laughs] Maybe it would be better if you could put some of those things, so we can make sure that we capture everything that you've shared that you're interested in and looking for, in the chat. That would be wonderful. What else? Okay, [reading] "Everything and anything once I adopted everything ended." Samantha when, when did you adopt? How long ago? [Samantha Edmond] I want to say July '19 -- I mean 2019. I've had her since she was 4. She's 10 now, I adopted her between '19 and '20. 2000-- and I was told about what could, you know support and everything, but I was told she could even have contact with her brother, her siblings that I know where they are, and just nothing, nothing. [Bonni] Okay. Yeah. When you said that you were told, was that something that you were told by like a caseworker, or? [Samantha] The caseworker for -- so Mom has five children. The two older ones I had. I only kept one due to the other one's extreme behavior. So he went on elsewhere, right? But the sister and him have always been together. So when I reached out to them, "Hey, can we meet?" "Oh, we got to talk to the counselor. Oh, we don't think it's very," you know, and I'm like they, that's all they know is each other, right? So the other, other three, I know where they are. I tried reach out to them. And no, no connection, but for that baby, the oldest one, he was still in foster care. And I think he recently got moved to his grandmother due to nobody being able to keep him. Which means right now, he's still in foster care. My baby hasn't talked to him. He has he has been back in my home for temporary, so they found placement twice since he left my home. But she's by herself. She's by herself. Her mother, her dad was murdered right before our adoption. Mom is incarcerated right after adoption. [Bonni] Gotcha. [Samantha] So I don't know how to contact the families with the children. If they're supposed to be, and that's what I was told. They would be able to, you know, have this and that. And I think some of the behaviors, I mean I get it. I don't know, if I was raised with my brother, for, I got her when she was four. I probably had them till she was-- so three years, three years. They went in the system at two. So from two to seven they've been together and then all of a sudden I can't -- She doesn't know how to express that and I don't either. I don't know how to tell her. She knows I'm trying. But the caseworker [Bonni] Mmhmm. [Samantha] would always have an excuse. The case worker never liked me, period. So I'm gonna put it like that. That I think, and any means -- and as well as her supervisor, because I did not adopt the sibling, they just kind of shunned me. But his behavior, they wouldn't help me with his behavior. At all. No assistance at all. So that's where that is. [Bonni] So those are -- [Samantha] So I'm -- yeah? [Bonni] Yeah, no, I'm sorry to cut you off. I was just saying there's a, there's several things that you mentioned there that are hard to, to navigate on your own without some type of support. I think one is you mentioned behaviors. Some of those challenges that, that are big. I know Katina put in the chat as well, "With lies and stealing no one but one person will even babysit." So just feeling really alone with the support and knowledge of, of how to respond to that. But then also, Samantha's really important aspect of, how do you navigate keeping connections with biological family, or being able to, uh, siblings. You know, what are -- how, what's the best way to walk through that as a adoptive parent, but also adoptee? [Lynn] What about-- I was, I was going through what she brought up also, Miss Samantha Edmond. What about someone to help you mediate that? To um, that can help mediate the connection with the family, help you schedule that, help you move around within DHS as opposed to adoptive, um, family and as opposed to adoptive parent. Would that be something you would be open to, may be helpful? [Samantha] Most definitely, but they would not. I've tried that. I've tried the cost of worker mediation. I just think that case worker -- This, these children, when I got them they had one set case worker, and then after she left or got, switched cases, these, they had case worker after case worker after case worker and then this one that she, they had. She was just adamant. Actually. She was adamant about me even adopting my daughter. She had, she made arrangements to have my baby removed and placed with no, what do you call it? Reasonable reason for her to be removed. But because I had the brother removed, she found the next door neighbor, said they were going to visit the brother, but she was actually trying to place her in the next door neighbor. So the worker is, was against me all the way, and and I don't know if he-- if she's still the worker now that he is in, I heard he was in Louisiana, the grandmother there. I always kept her posted every time I got him back, but she didn't like me. And I made sure, family connection, I think that's very important. I made sure she had open, so there is no mediator that was willing. It was always, "Well, we don't think so right now. Well, not a good time." But his birthday just passed, April the 6th. Not you know, so, no ma'am, yeah, there is there is no one in Comanche County. [Lynn] Okay, I definitely have that on the list because what, what I'm doing right now is I'm typing up a list of different ideas as we collaborate on them, and "Help with mediating the system and bio family visits after adoption," is, does that seem like it fit? Okay good. [Samantha] Yeah. [Lynn] I was just wanting to make sure that I documented that exactly. What you were stating to be able to help you in this situation where you're needing that support. [Lynn] And I see-- [Samantha] Okay. [Lynn] and I see Nicollette Brandt, she put into the chat that, "It would be nice to have a group of children that my kids could spend time with that have Foster adoptive experiences. They sometimes feel like the odd men out. I'm most interested in finding a way to give them the community again. The older they get the more I want that for them." That's a great idea, Nicolette. [Lacey Sorrels] And Nicolette, would you mind sharing a little bit about what that community previously looked like for you guys? Like what experiences were your kids able to have and where they were able to connect with other kiddos that had similar experiences? [Nicollette] Yeah, we went to Love Does through Journey Church that I don't think that exists anymore, Journey Church doesn't exist anymore. Um, and so we did the Foster Support Group there. And then we also had this like, crazy intensive training in Cleveland County with a, like a group of foster parents. I guess everyone had to do it. That was the reason that we all got together. We got close because we all had to be there, but it was incredible. Our kids would sit in the lobby and they would play together, and we would sit in this room and we would learn, and we would talk, and we would bounce ideas off of each other. And again, I know that it's a, you know, life is busy and, and that stuff does, if you don't have to be there then maybe you don't show up and then that goes away, but that was an incredible experience for them. We met our best friends and, that our foster-- or that adopted the same time as us. And so we do have, they do have a friend who is adopted at the same time as them, but yeah, it's, it would, it just would be nice if they, especially as they're getting older. They know their bio mom, they don't know their bio dads, they have two different ones, and like navigating how they feel about that. I'm a single mom, so they don't have a dad around. Like, it would be nice to have other people to talk to about that kind of stuff for them. [Lynn] Thank you for sharing. Anyone else like to share on what type of connection and supports that you're interested in receiving, or even what does your support look like in connection to others that you may have in the community that have been through or experienced adoption the way that you have? [Dominic] Hey Lacey, I saw that you unmuted. Did you have a response to that earlier? [Lacey] Nope, I was just gonna tell her thank you for sharing and helping me understand that better. [Dominic] Okay. Thank you. [Bonni] I have a quick question. I know that Katina and Nicolette and Samantha have all shared with us that you are in the role of adoptive parent. And do we have anyone on here that's not an adoptive parent? But maybe an adoptee or maybe even a birth parent? And then my next question, I know Katina you shared that your kiddo is 13. And Nicollette, I'm not sure, and Samantha I can't remember if you shared the ages of your kids, but that's another thing that would be helpful is if you could just share what ages your kids are. I know we've talked quite a bit on the team here about potentially starting things for adopted adolescents and maybe even like adult adoptees to be able to just connect with each other and kind of like what you were saying, Nicollette, having, just enjoying time together. It doesn't even have to be you know, super structured, but just having some social time to connect. [reading] "10 and 8," okay. Gotcha, and you're, you, Nicollette, you're gonna foster more so you might even have some more kiddos in your home. [reading] Sheri, "15, 14, 11, and 5." Wow. Okay, that's quite a spread and a lot of kiddos that have joined your home. Thank you. So we've got some, some adolescents on here. And then also that kind of pre-, Pre-adolescents and then our littles as well. Okay. [Lynn] I do want to ask one question, also. With the supports that are being provided, would you like for them to be more virtual supports due to you know, travel. Oklahoma's so huge. We could also break it down by region, by area. Would you like to meet in person? How does that look, even for the adolescent groups? How does that look? [Samantha] For me, it would be wonderful because I work-- I live in Lawton, I work in Anadarko for the Head Start, and so to do this on virtual is wonderful because the time in, during lunch time, they're resting and it gives me an opportunity to meet the, the panel and the parents. So for me virtual is wonderful. I don't drive much, so I couldn't get to Oklahoma City if I, you know. [Lynn] Thank you for clarifying that, Ms. Samantha Edmond, and I see Katina, you put into the chat that you're good with virtual or in-person, depending. Okay and Nicollette, [reading] "In-person for kids makes the most impact, but virtual is great for adult stuff." Thank you. [Bonni] So Lynn and Dominique now might be a really good time for us to introduce Jami from Circle of Care. Jami, I'll let you share more about what you what you all are working on with some virtual groups. [Jami Pereira] Thanks, Bonnie. Hey everybody. I am super excited about some new services and supports that Circle of Care is offering for adoptive families. And so specifically kind of what we've got going right now. We have some support groups that we're starting. They're gonna be, right now we're starting them out once a month, but obviously if the, the interest and engagement grows, we have the ability and capacity to offer those a lot more frequently. They're gonna be hosted out of our Tahlequah location. So Circle of Care has locations all across the state but these, these particular services are going to be offered out of our Tahlequah location. Um, we will offer both an in-person and a virtual option. So if you happen to live in the Tahlequah region or there around, we will be offering an in-person support group focused specifically on things that you know, the adoptive family might be experiencing or going through, but really it's just going to be an opportunity for everybody to kind of get together and share thoughts and ideas, maybe share resources. We might bring in some people at some point to share additional resources and just to provide that kind of support for those families. The in-person group will be, will have child care and a dinner provided as well because it'll be in the evenings. If you don't live in or around the Tahlequah area, we're also super excited to offer a virtual option of our post-adoption support group. And this will be, like I said, we'll start it out once a month. It's gonna be on the second Monday at noon. So around the lunch hour, same thing. So if you can kind of hop on on your lunch break, even if you can't make the whole hour, but you can hop on for a little bit, it will be a great opportunity to connect with other families and parents across the state, and that is open to anybody. You do not have to be connected with Circle of Care in any way, just have to have experienced foster care or adoption. And so that can be really for anybody. Um, and so I will, I can send, I believe I shared some of our, we started it in April was our first one. I believe I shared those flyers, but I'll continue each month. We'll have a new one because we'll have a new link, but I will continue to share those so that they'll be on the OK Fosters post-adoption resources page. So you guys can access that information, but I can also share my information directly and you can always reach out to me directly if you have questions about that. What I will say is, right now, because we want to keep this as supportive of an environment as possible, we will kind of limit the amount of participants that are able to be in the group, so that we don't end up with too many people and you know, not everyone can feel heard, or you know, have their time to share. But like I said, if we continue to have, you know, engagement and people wanting to access these services, we have the capacity to add as many as we want to so, you know. And we'll continue to look at-- some things we're exploring right now, but we don't have necessarily set in place are some groups for kind of those adolescent ages, or those, you know, kind of preteen kids, maybe doing some kids groups and things. We recognize those need to be in person. So there needs to be a little bit more infrastructure in place to get those started but for right now, we're super excited to start out with these, with these virtual options. I have Jaclyn Chrestman she's joined in here as well. She's actually our therapist that leads those groups, and she's gone through lots of training. She's done NTI with Bonnie, actually, as well. And so she is very familiar with working with children and families that have experienced foster care and adoption, and so I'm grateful and thankful for her that she was able to be on here today too. But she's gonna be the one leading those groups. And so she's very well-trained in in this area. So we're excited to have her doing that also. I'm happy to answer any questions that you all may have or if I missed anything, Bonni, let me know, but we're just really excited to be a part of this, and continuing to offer these supports and services to adoptive families in Oklahoma. [Bonni] Katina mentioned earlier the importance of working with professionals who really understand adoption and the challenges that are specific to walking this journey. And that's that NTI training that Jami just mentioned is one of the major trainings that we have available in Oklahoma for our mental health professionals. It is a significant undertaking. It's not a short training. It's 10 modules of online training and then meeting, I've been meeting with mental health providers who are going through that on a monthly basis. So it takes almost a year for them to complete that training. So I'm, I am grateful for Circle of Care to embrace that and Jaclyn for taking that training. So Jami's put her email address in the chat (jami.pereira@circleofcare.org). If you would like to directly connect with her and answer any questions, I'm sorry, ask any questions and get you all connected to some of those groups that they have, that they're building. I just want to make sure that everyone knows the in-person is in Tahlequah, but the virtual is open to anyone across the whole state and you do not, right Jamie? You do not have to be previously connected to Circle of Care. [Jami] Correct. Yeah, just open to open to the public. You just do have to register. I don't, I don't know if I mentioned that. So you do have, because we are putting a limit on how many people can be in the groups. You do have to register and that, again, I'll send all that information to Bonni or you can email me directly and I'll get you that information but there's just a link you fill out a short form, basically your name and email address. And then you'll, once you register the Zoom link will be sent to you and you'll be able to log in. [Bonni] Jami, I think I have one more quick follow-up question, maybe Jaclyn too, since you're on here, we talked to, the question before this about some of the specific things, like if there are, you know, some of the specific challenges our parents have mentioned already is behaviors, challenging behaviors, and having connection and not feeling judged, you know to be safe place to be able to process what, how, what that feels like, but then also I think maybe some tools of how to respond and, and how to interact. But then we also had some other kind of topics or different types of, you know, like our adoptees, and I know you mentioned, I did hear you mention, Jami, that you're thinking of maybe potentially something in the future, but right now it's specific to adoptive parents. [Jami] Mmhmm. [Bonni] And is there any like, specific content that you could share with us of kind of what that group will cover? [Jami] Yeah, so we have some kind of a very broad overall topics and we're kind of you know, we're gonna kind of put those out there and then kind of let the group tell us what, you know, where you want to go. We really want this to be kind of group-led. But kind of just, some of the overarching themes or topics that we're looking at exploring will be you know, attachment, behavioral issues like we mentioned before, identification, how to help your child, you know, walk through those years of, you know, "Who am I," you know, all those kinds of questions, culture, identity. If you, you know, have adopted a child from a different culture or ethnicity from you, what that looks like. We'll talk about some of that. We'll look at grief and loss, both for the child, for the parents, for the bio parents. And for the adoptive parent, you're helping the child walk through those things, and so understanding the grief and loss that have been experienced through that process, and I heard someone earlier talking about you know, that they want them, their adopted child to connect with their siblings, and they want that for them, but they haven't been able to do that. So kind of walking through what that grief and loss might feel like for the parent, and then helping their child through that as well. LGBTQ issues that might pop up that are, you know, related to adoption. So, you know, we have some kind of overarching themes that we'll explore and each month will be kind of a different topic. And then we'll kind of present that topic and let the, let the group kind of navigate, help us navigate where they want to go, and then Jaclyn obviously will, you know, help to provide the clinical insight and, and the therapeutic support and help that, you know, that the group might need at that time. [Bonni] Thank you, Jami. [Jami] Yeah. [Bonni] All right. So, exciting to hear that there's something that's happening right now. It's the second Monday of every month at noon and there will be flyers. We will post those on our, the OK Fosters post-adoption support page. You'll find if you, in fact let me go ahead, I'm gonna share my screen. Once I get to OK Fosters. Just so you all can see where all of this good information is. [Bonni shares her screen, which has https://okfosters.org pulled up. She talks through the steps to find the materials being discussed. The last item in the main menu is "Post Adoption." Hovering over or focusing on that item will bring up a dropdown menu with several options. Post Adoption Support is the 4th item in the list.] [Bonni] So if you type in OK Fosters on your web browser go over to the right here where it says post-adoption, and we have all these different pages of information. Post-adoption support is going to be where we will post everything from this meeting, and also ongoing things you can see down here. There's some support groups here and Jami, I think we need to get those flyers up here. The April one already passed, correct? [Bonni scrolls through the "Post Adoption Support" page somewhat quickly to give a brief idea of its content.] [Jami] Yes, that's correct. Our next one will be in May, the second Monday... will be May 8th. Will be our next our next ones. [Bonni] Okay, so please, I know that some parents put their email address in chat. So you might want to just jot those down, Jami, because they were putting them in the chat while you were talking. So, but then also, Jami put her email in there, and we will post the flyers here on this page at the top of Oklahoma Support Groups ongoing. There's also information here about Adoptee Mentoring Society. It's a national mentoring society that has some virtual meetings for adoptees and you can see it goes down to age 12, 12 to 16, and then we've got AdopteesConnect. So there's lots of good information of, Help One Child, lots of good things going on. And then there's also, here, some curriculum that we've put up here, some free curriculum that you can download if you're wanting some guide to help you through a support group. And then if you have information that we don't yet have on this page, filling out this information at the bottom will help us be able to put what group you have going on up here at the top. [Bonni hovers over the Post Adoption menu item again and selects the 6th item in the list, Oklahoma Adoption Competency Network.] [Bonni] The other thing I want to draw your attention to, all of these different links have more information, but this Oklahoma Adoption Competency Network, that's where all the information about our ongoing events, such as what we're doing right now, this forum, this conversation that we're having, but then we also have some future trainings that I'm sure our team will share more about. [She stops sharing her screen.] But as I was sharing my screen, I just wanted to show that to you. Okay, thank you so much Jami. If there's any other questions for specifically for The Circle of Care virtual support groups, please, now is your time to ask those questions. [Samantha] I'm sorry. I was trying to follow you, but I was also trying to make sure I didn't have anything visible that's not supposed to be. What is, uh, I got to OK Fosters, but what is after that? [Bonni] Good question. So OK Fosters. It'll bring you to the, the landing page. Up at the top, I'll share my screen again. Up at the top up here, no matter what page you're on you'll have all of these links, or, uh, landing pages. I don't really know what they call them. Homes, I guess, and we are all the way to the right. Post Adoption. And when you hover over that, these will all pop, pop down. [Bonni] Did you find it, Samantha? [Samantha] Yes, I did. Uh huh. Thank you. [Bonni] Okay. Great. [Lynn] As our time is winding down. Is there anything else that anyone would like to share? I'm going to do a quick rundown of some of the ideas and collaborations that came out of today's meeting. One thing that we heard was a safe place to express frustrations. If you would like to put a little bit more information into the chat, what does that safe place look like? What, where are you comfortable? And then another idea was the need for a village approach to support adoptive parents. Adolescent group and supports, help with mediating the system and bio family visits for after adoption. And on the virtual or in-person, we are seeing that virtual is okay, but in person for adolescents. So if that information is correct, let me know. If you have any other ideas, please put it in the chat and we will get it recorded. [Bonni] And I'd like to kind of start dreaming about next steps. So I think virtual support we have a, kind of an immediate, you know, next step for, for anyone who's interested or for parents who are interested in joining The Circle of Care, adoption-focused, some virtual support groups, but some of those others, what do you think would be a good next step towards, working towards -- it sounds like one is building some type of mediation assistance between you know, navigating ongoing connections and relationships with siblings and biological family. And then another that I'm hearing is the adoptee, which would be more of an in-person. I have a question. Do you think that adolescents would be-- how would that work? If we did some type of virtual support for adolescents, for those of you who have adolescent kiddos? [Samantha] For me, I think that would be great for her to be able to identify, she knows what adoption was, she's old enough to know that she went to the courthouse and things, but for her to actually identify and speak with other children that have also gone through that same process. It's kind of like that me-- Not, I don't want to say Me Too, but it's kind of like being able to see something that resembles your life. [Bonni] Yeah, yeah. Any other thoughts? [reading] "I think my daughter would be more willing to participate than my boys." [laughs] Good point Sheri. Yeah. Yeah, fair enough. [Lynn] Or we can even make it interesting for the adolescent boys. Do a little bit of research of what you know, they kind of like to do; it could be around a sport. It could be around, you know, doing something outside or doing something with video games. So there's different ways that we can even get, you know, young men and young women, you know interested and make it fun for them. So they will want to come, and it's just not another chore. [Bonni] And I think sometimes it's a little like, if you call it a "support group" people feel this, you know weight of like, "Oh my gosh, it's, I, I'm asked to share my story," or "I have to be vulnerable," or "I don't need support." Especially our young friends. And so yeah, I think, I love this id-- this thought of creating things that are more, that aren't necessarily called support groups, but we are creating opportunities for kiddos who've been adopted from Child Welfare to just hang out and just be together and do something. So I'm going to ask the question again, I hear, because here's where my mind is. I'm thinking there's some stuff that we could start trying to kind of create a space for, but in, whenever it's an in-person, it's gonna take us a while. Like I live in Oklahoma City and so I could, you know, create something, an event that would be located in Oklahoma City, but I know several of you who are on here are not close to Oklahoma City. So I'm trying to think of something that could be, you know in-person but then also a broad reach for those of you that it might take us a bit longer to be able to create something that would be in-person. And so, tell me, maybe, should-- does anyone have an experience with like, an online something like what we're talking about? Oh, okay. [reading] Social media challenge. Okay. Yeah, any other thought in that vein? [Lynn] Well, you know the children. I have a teenager and they walk with their phones. And so even like with the Tiktok challenges and Instagram challenges, there's different ways. Maybe we can do something over social media where they can be involved but it's still virtual. [Bonni] Good thought, Lynn. [Katie Stewart] My son attends a virtual support group once a month for kiddos. He's 10. And they do, they use the Whiteboard on Zoom. And so they use that, and, to do different games. So like Hangman and just different things where they're not, you know really talking, but then as, you know, whatever word comes up like sometimes kids feel like sharing and so it's a very natural thing. But they, the focus is on bringing in, like using the tools that we have, the Whiteboard and other things to play a game virtually and then have conversation come up. [Bonni] Okay, good and does your, does your son enjoy it, Katie? [Katie] He does actually, we accidentally missed, it was supposed to be Saturday and we lost track of time, and he was very upset that we missed it. So it is, and he's a boy and he will not, he doesn't like to talk. So he really enjoys just connecting. Just seeing, it's really about seeing that there's other kids who've experienced stuff that he's experienced. [Bonni] That's good. It's good. What do you think, parents on here? Does that sound like something that you would feel comfortable with and that you would you think your kids might be interested in joining? Okay. [Lynn] And Taylor, she stated in the chat, "Take times in various locations for more in-person accessibility, of course virtual availability with each event." Yes, so, okay. Thank you. [Lacey] And that is something that we're kind of brainstorming and dreaming up what some like maybe family fun days or something like that could look like and just do one in different locations around the state, but that is going to take some time to get those put together. But that is something that we are kind of like dreaming about and figuring out how we can make that work. [Bonni] [reading] Katina: "I just want to support you. Thank you so much, being a parent who monitors virtual use of kids," I totally agree with that. And these, anything that we would do we would first of all be monitoring ourselves, but then would welcome any parents to either be a part of or to, to see and yeah. No, I totally totally understand and support and I'm grateful that you do that. [Lynn] And I do have to say just, I understand the comment. I have to be all in her business. Mm-hmm. I have a teenage daughter too. I get it. Yep. And Tammera put into the chat, [reading] "We have a lot of great state parks, hiking, fishing. That would be good, you know, get the kids involved walking around in a park and hopefully, you know, starting conversations that way and getting to know the group." That would, that's a great idea Tammera. [Bonni] Ooh, Nicollette. Yeah, I love that. "To get in-person stuff a fun destination. We could explore Oklahoma." So, okay now I have another question from those of you who are on this group. Would anyone be interested in having a follow-up meeting to start, start thinking and planning this adolescent next step? Both in-person type things, but then also this virtual type thing. Is anyone interested in kind of joining, joining like, a I guess a committee? I don't know. Is that a bad word? To have follow-up meetings. Okay, so we see Nicollette saying yes. Sheri saying yes. Katina saying yes, excellent. Taylor is that a yes as well? I don't want to like -- oh, yes, you said yes, perfect. And Samantha. Man, we've got some excellent people on here. Thanks. Thank you everyone. So I think what we'll do with that... Ooh, Christy has another good point there. Let me wrap this up. So with the next step for having a follow-up meeting to start talking about how to create some good supports across the state for our adoptees, our adolescent adoptees. I will, we'll get together as a team and we'll start finding a date and a time. And we'll send something directly to you over email and we'll probably go ahead and open it up to, to other people who want to join and start having a conversation with us of what to, what would work and how to build that. But we'll follow up within the next week to give you a date and a time of the next meeting. [Lynn] And I do have to ask if you have not put your name and email in the chat, please put that information into the chat so we can email you about upcoming events and also upcoming meetings and follow up meeting here, to this meeting. [Bonni] All right, and then this last thing that's coming up here is the conversation of staying digitally connected. So Christy had mentioned Facebook, and then Nicollette had a great point of email or GroupMe if people don't all have the same social media. That's a good thought. Team, what do y'all think about that? Does everyone have GroupMe? What about our other parents on here? Do you guys have GroupMe or know what it is? Okay. That's true. [reading] "You get notifications when something comes in and not always do you get that for other social media." Yeah, Nicolette: [reading] "It is often used for sports teams. It is free." Okay. Samantha, the good thing about GroupMe is that it's easier to utilize, I think, than social media. You don't have to really, I mean you have, you are a person on the app, but it's not something that you have to like, manage a whole account. It's kind of more like, yeah, it's as easy as texting. It's like a way to have everybody, when you text something, it sends to the whole group. That's pretty much what GroupMe is [Lynn] Okay, I'll do, and I also would like to add to Miss Samantha Edmond, we will also be sending the information out by email and I do have your email listed. So just in case, you know, if you don't want to do social media, I get that. We can also, you know send you information by email also. [Bonni] So I think we'll look into the steps and what is needed to set up a GroupMe and will be emailing you all and posting that information on OK Fosters Support, as well. [Lynn] Well, it's about that time, it's 12:52. Are there any -- is there anyone else that would like to share any ideas, any questions that you have? This the time before we sign off here in a little bit. I'm gonna put the survey in the chat. Please complete this survey, give us feedback. If you have ideas, you can even put it in the feedback box on the survey. We would love that. We record all of the information. And I give everyone the floor. [Bonni] So I think maybe, tell me if I'm wrong Lynn, Dominic, team, the main action, the main takeaways from this is, there are current virtual support groups going on for adoptive parents right now connect with Jami from Circle of Care to get looped into that. It's once a month right now, but it also can expand from there. So that is happening right now. We are gonna follow up with another meeting for us to start making things happen for our adopted adolescents having some-- Oh, look at that, Lynn, you already put it in the chat, great. So being able to follow up and make some things happen. I think it'd be great to get some stuff happening this summer when our kids are out of school. And then the third action step is for us to, to look at some type of GroupMe connection so we can continue to have real time conversation. We have emails, but then maybe something that's even quicker and more real time. So we will be working on all of that. And we'll be reaching out and letting you all know. And there's the link for the survey for feedback in the chat. Thank you guys so, so much. It's been incredible. Thank you for your time hopping on here.