How Is My Parenting?

Did you know your trauma history and ACES score can affect how you parent? Our experiences shape our thoughts, feelings and actions. If we have unresolved trauma or have not healed from our hurts then we can become triggered or dysregulated ourselves and react negatively to our children. Here are some ways you can help yourself be that therapeutic parent that your children from hard places need.

What Can I Do?

Identify your trauma by determining your ACES score. Use your ACES score to determine the areas you need to work on and recognize your triggers. Heal from your own trauma.
Learn healthy ways to regulate yourself so that you can effectively parent your child who has experienced trauma.

How Do I Do This?

  • Individual therapy for yourself
    • Educate yourself through resources such as podcasts and books
    • Parenting from the Inside Out by Dr. Daniel Siegel and Mary Hartzell
    • The Connected Parent by Dr. Karyn Purvis and Lisa Qualls with Emmelie Pickett
    • The Whole Brained Child by Dr. Daniel Siegel and Dr. Tina Payne Bryson
    • The Connected Child by Dr. Karyn B. Purvis and Dr. David R. Cross
    • The Body Keeps The Score by Bessel van der Kolk
    • Podcast: The Healing Trauma Podcast with Monique Koven
  • Take Care of Yourself
    • Take time to do something you enjoy
    • Give yourself a break and time to rest regularly
    • Take care of your body (eating regular meals, getting enough sleep, breathing exercises, being active in some way, drink plenty of water, get regular check-ups with your doctor)
    • Take care of your mind (meditating, journaling, practicing gratitude, saying positive affirmations, spend time in nature)
  • Be Intentional with your words and actions

“When little people are overwhelmed by big emotions, it’s our job to share our calm, not join their chaos.”

L.R. Knost

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